Understanding: Wash it All Away
by shinko112
Summary: He didn't know when the feeling he held for her began, she was firmly engrained into his being long before he realized how much she meant to him. currently being revised
1. Prologue

Prologue

The tragedy of life is what dies in the hearts and souls of people while they live

Albert Einstein

Since ancient times the world has been dark and gray, consuming darkness, oppressive hate, slaughtering light and adulterating hope.

Amaya Sesshoumaru gazed at the sleeping form nestled between beige colored satin sheets and a comforter that was accented in a damask floral design in shades of plum, gold, burgundy, and beige on matelassé cloth. Her face was illuminated by the full moon's soft light causing her pale skin to glow in an ethereal manner, her ebony hair contrasting sharply with her skin against its light. How she stood in sharp contrast to him. He, with his tarnished soul, fair looks, and overwhelming height was the exact opposite of her petite form, dark hair, and virtuous soul. What set her apart from all the others who had tried in vain to earn his attention he could not, would not say. There was nothing truly remarkable about her features, he mused, her eyes, framed by long eyelashes, were large and wide making her appear somewhat childlike. Her lips, which were habitually turned up in a smile, were a soft coral, her nose small and slightly upturned. There was nothing extraordinary about her he thought again, but she was different from the others, her presence was, to say the least, bearable.

'I don't want to be a burden'

'You never are'

Perhaps it was her smile that so endeared her to him, that radiant smile that she awarded everyone, regardless of their species, with for she was not one to ignore others. Perhaps it was her benevolent personality, how she worried and cared for everyone. Perhaps it was something completely unfathomable. Nevertheless, he did not love her that he cared deeply for her was unquestionable, but love was a weakness and it did not exist. Love was intangible just like all emotions and had no distinct shape or delineation. He was not like his father, who was governed by his emotions and permitted himself to fall in love with an insignificant ningen. That contemptible union had spawned his worthless half-breed brother. He was certain that he was nothing like his father. Sesshoumaru sighed and continued to scrutinize the slumbering figure. He had claimed her as his possession merely to appease his father. He had chosen her because her companionship was the only feminine company that he could tolerate and, dare he say it, enjoy. She was nothing like the others, who were vainglorious, gluttonous, desiring only to enhance their wealth with their superficial facades. How they had repulsed him. Perchance he owed his father some gratitude, for it was because of him that he had met her. He turned his head and gazed at the full moon, perhaps he was more like his father than he had originally thought for he too had mated with a ningen. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed marginally, how he disgusted, no repulsed himself.

Sesshoumaru sighed as he recalled what had caused this catastrophic correlation. It still did not cease to amaze him how one miniscule action could have such heinous consequences. The catalyst had been a conference with one Amaya Inutaisho, head of the multi-billion dollar company known as Taiyoukai Inc.


	2. Chapter 1

_"You hold the answers deep within your own mind  
Consciously, you've forgotten it  
That's the way the human mind works  
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us  
to entertain, we eject it  
We erase it from our memories  
But the imprint is always there"_

Chapter One

The late summer day was immeasurably warm and humid, the sky a deep azure unmarked by clouds. The day would not have been so unbearable had there been even a feathery breeze, unfortunately, not a leaf from even the tallest trees stirred. However, all that was occurring outside of the office of Amaya Sesshoumaru was ignored. He cared little for the world outside his office; he cared little about everything save for his reputation and his father's business. The sunlight that had filtered through the large corporate glass window of his office, casting sharp shadows against the pale ivory of his carpet went unnoticed. His office was neat and orderly, reflecting the personality of its sole occupant. Conversely, the room gave off an inhospitable aura, the furniture a dark cherry stained wood: hard, impersonal, and elegant. The spacious office's décor was nothing short of refined, the focal point of the room was a large desk, half of which was taken up by a laptop on the other half were several documents of the company's expenditures and income as well as a telephone, two large bookshelves adorned the room's left wall. A small end table on which was an ornate lacquered vase, a deep cerulean blue with gold trim along the mouth and base, separated them and a gilded ivy design was painted along its sides.

The silence of the room was unbroken save for the scratch of the ballpoint pen across the sheets of paper; no ticking of a clock, no traffic from the outside world disturbed him. Sensitive ears did not desire to hear the repetitive ticking of the clock, the bustle of mortals, and the infernal racket of machinery. The motion of the pen paused, as its owner stopped, reflecting for a moment on the nature of his work, the purpose it served, and the responsibility it held. Although the work was cumbersome, often menial, and always repulsive it served a great purpose, it was he that made the minor decisions, it was he who was to succeed the great Inutaisho, and it was he who held the place of second most powerful in the entire building. Responsibility granted to him on basis of being the first born, the most adept and yet the fear still remained in the recess of his mind. Guarantees were fools gold, being eldest was meaningless should his father choose to bequeath everything to the halfling Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru's lip curled into a snarl at the thought of the hanyou taking what was his, it was his birthright, and his father would be a fool to entrust such a task on such an irresponsible child. Youkai longevity marked Inuyasha as an infant, a toddler compared to the vast knowledge and experience that Sesshoumaru could claim. Still, the comfort was intangible, and he rested uneasily. Inuyasha was the preferred son; the prodigal son was a more accurate term in his mind. Coarse, the only word that could be used to describe the short-tempered youth, made the situation almost laughable. Imagine, the crude man-child in a tailored three-piece suite attempting to sway the opinion of other men into agreeing with his decisions for the betterment of the company. The image was ludicrous. The mere idea of Inuyasha making any corporate decisions was ludicrous. With these thoughts, the doubt was pushed further back and Sesshoumaru resumed his work, the pen scratching across the page and eyes roving down the finance papers.

The noise of the pen ceased once more, silence filled the room as Sesshoumaru, seated in his black leather chair, sniffed the air lightly at knocking on his office door, and he recognized the scent to be that of his snow youkai secretary, Kinusaya.

"Enter," he said, not looking up when the door opened and Kinusaya entered the room. She was a tall youkai, pale and slender; half of her ice blue hair was pulled into a bun the rest cascaded freely past her shoulders, accenting her two-piece lavender suite.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, your father has requested your presence in his office immediately. He said that it was a matter of utmost importance and that you must not tarry."

"Very well, inform my father that I am on my way."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama," she answered before leaving the room. Sesshoumaru stared pensively at the closed door before he too stood up and exited the room.

_This is what I brought you, this you can keep._

Amaya Inutaisho gazed at the door to his office anxiously, what he had to discuss with his eldest son was a matter that could not afford to be put off any longer than it had already been. He had hoped that the issue would not be necessary, but as time passed, it had become painfully obvious that the matter could no longer be ignored. His thoughts tinged with nervousness and fear twisted in his mind, surely he could discuss the matter with Sesshoumaru. Surely, there would be no conflicts. Yet the fear remained. Had Sesshoumaru noticed or even suspected the fear he would have scoffed, believing fear to be a mortal emotion. Inutaisho knew differently, fear was an emotion all living things felt, the fear of dying, of losing that was valued the most, whether ningen, youkai, or mere animal all living creatures were capable of fear. Still the fear was not enough to prevent him broaching the subject with his son. There was only one miniscule problem that Inutaisho had to resolve, how to inform and persuade Sesshoumaru to agree to- Inutaisho's thoughts were interrupted by the knocking at his door, knowing immediately that it was his son he quickly ushered Sesshoumaru in and asked him to take a seat.

"Konnichiwa Sesshoumaru, hopefully this meeting shall be brief and you may return to your office and complete your tasks."

"My work was mostly finished, Father, I was only looking over the company's finances as one mistake could be very costly for the business."

"Yes, yes of course."

"Not to be impertinent Father, but I would appreciate it if you would tell me why I was summoned here."

"Well, my son, a matter has once more come to my attention, a matter that can no longer be overlooked as it has been for the past three-hundred and fifty years. This most pressing matter regards your future as well as the future of this business. Sesshoumaru, as you are no doubt aware, society has began to score a person's ability by the type of college degree that they earned; businesses have put the most weight on those thin sheets of paper. This is most troubling for our business as most of our employees do not have degrees, and many companies are beginning to refuse working with us, because you, my eldest son and heir, do not have at least a Bachelor's degree, or the equivalent to; although, a masters or doctorate would be preferable."

"Father, are you telling me that I must attend a university?"

"Unfortunately, Sesshoumaru that is exactly what you must do, for the business and for your own future. I have selected an exemplary university in Tokyo, it is the same university that Inuyasha is to attend, and their Business department is superb. While you are in Tokyo you will oversee that particular branch of our business whilst you are not busy with your studies. I have also procured an apartment for you; most of your things will be delivered there seeing how you will be living there for at least the next four years. Do not worry, when the time comes, you will not share an apartment with Inuyasha. Inuyasha will not be attending college for three more years and has at the moment, decided to live in a dorm. Seeing how it is only June, you still have a little over a month to get all of your affairs in order and situate yourself in your new home.

"I take it that I have no other option but to accept, very well Father, if that is your wish and if the company depends on this I shall attend this college that you have chosen."

"Sesshoumaru, believe me when I say that if there was any other option available you would not be coerced to attend college, unfortunately this is our only alternative and you must learn to accept your fate. Perhaps you shall learn that college is not as insufferable as you first imagined and the fact that you will be coerced to socialize with ningens will become the least of your problems. Ningens are truly not as vile as you deem them to be my son, they are not worthless and the majority of them are quite decent."

Sesshoumaru did not respond to his father's final statement, nor did his face reveal any of the emotions or inner turmoil that he might have been feeling, as it remained as impassive as ever. He stood up slowly and took his leave from his fathers office, cold amber eyes staring strait ahead, he barely acknowledged the building's employees as he passed them. Although he understood the reasoning behind his father's judgment, Sesshoumaru was still angered and repulsed by the prospect of attending a college that also accepted the deplorable human species as their alumni. It was utterly disgraceful that he would be coerced to spend the next four years in such an ignoble place, it was degrading, demeaning, abhorred, and well below his station. To spend a minimum of four years in such a state, with Inuyasha in such close proximity was a curse, a punishment for some unknown deed.

Conversely, there was one thing that greatly troubled Sesshoumaru; it was the fact that his father appeared to have left out one crucial fact during their discussion. It had become apparent when he stated that the matter had been overlooked for the past three-hundred and fifty years, college degrees had not been necessary until fifty years ago. Whatever the motives for his father's suspicious actions, Sesshoumaru knew that the matter in question concerned him and that he would more than likely not enjoy the announcement, whenever Inutaisho deemed him ready to know. However, for now it would suffice to know whom Inutaisho intended to replace him with and if that person was competent. Unfortunately, that too was not revealed to Sesshoumaru and only time would reveal his replacement, whether it was to be for better or for worse.

He sat down at his desk, picked the pen up and soon the only noise in the spacious room was that of the scratching of the pen.

_I promise you my heart  
Just promise to sing_

The slumbering figure in the king-sized bed had not shifted during the time that Sesshoumaru was lost within his memories; a luxury that he often times was unable to partake. He gazed at the diminutive form slumbering contentedly, she slept like the dead he mused; no she slept like an innocent, untainted by the cruelty of the world and the putrid odor of corruption did not hover around her as it did in most ningens. He felt that such a thing would be marvelous, to be able to live without sin, without darkness on the soul, but such a thing was denied to him. He needed, he needed, what was unattainable. No, he did not need, a need was something he could not live without, he wanted what was unattainable for a want signified a desire. Wants and needs, it was funny how the line between the two blurred so often when he thought of her.

He continued to watch the steady rise and fall of her bosom, the sheets moving slightly with each inhale countered by the following exhale. Steady, even. As a youkai, he did not require much sleep, but ningens were weak and required a specific quantity of hours of sleep to live for if their bodies were not permitted to sleep they would surely die. Weak, he thought, inexplicably weak creatures, and she was a fragile china doll that he needed to keep safe, to stop her from being knocked off the shelf and shattering into thousands of pieces. While she was whole he could hold her, could take care of her, could leave for brief periods without much worry, but if she shattered nothing would remain the same. The scattered pieces could be gathered, he could put her back together, carefully applying glue to each jagged edge, but the fault lines would always remain, fractured, and weakened beyond repair. An illusion of the former beauty, damaged and guilt would set in, guilt from his lack of ability to protect. He had seen broken ningens before and as he watched her sleep he vowed he would not allow her to be broken.

The slumbering figure suddenly shifted, a soft sound of discomfort escaping her lips, she had rolled to his side of the bed, her brow furrowed. Sesshoumaru sighed softly and walked to the bed after locking the balcony doors securely behind him, with the natural grace of a youkai he laid down beside his mate. He cradled her gently in his arms, her face instantly relaxed and she mumbled something that not even he with his exceptional hearing could comprehend. Only she could extract such tenderness, only she could sleep beside him without fear, and only she among her kind deserved what he gave.

He cared for her, that he would not deny, but love was not something he would admit. He did not love, he did not know love, he could recite definitions of it, explain what it made people feel, but he did not know the meaning of the word, never experiencing such an attachment to another being in centuries. The feeling was forgotten, erased from his memories and from his understanding. A hand moved to her head, the long tapered fingers burrowed in her dark hair, claws combing through the silky locks, and he wondered for the nth time what her feelings towards him were. Her emotions where complex, compassion, adoration, admiration, and something else that he was incapable of naming, but he knew it was not love. She did not love him, but she did not see him as simply a good friend whom she decided to marry. Something in-between perhaps, not quite love but not quite friendship. How he loathed the grey areas of life, the inconsistency of emotions.

Still, he felt that emotions were completely overrated; ningens held love sacred, but it was all completely irrelevant. His gaze shifted down to the woman in his arms, the woman who trusted him with her life and believed that he would never physically injure her, even though he had the power to end her life with one slash of his claws. It was somewhat refreshing and comforting to know that his ningen did not view him as a callous monster, which more often than not was how ningens viewed him and his race. How quickly they had infuriated him and though he had longed to purge the world of their deplorable existence, he had resigned himself to ignoring their petty words.

The matter no longer concerned him, he gazed at his mate once more, trust was a form of love and Sesshoumaru did not trust nor could he love, especially something as despicable and vile as a ningen for they were known for their debauchery. Overgeneralization, stereotyping, whatever the term others preferred it did not matter to him, it simplified ningens, gave them flat personalities for if he were to acknowledge their different facets he felt that he could not despise them as much as he did. Yet, his mate was ningen, he knew all the facets of her personality and he would not attempt to remove her flaws, they made her what she was. Nevertheless, Sesshoumaru loathed the fact that, in the eyes of all youkai, he had developed the same weakness of his father, and he abhorred the fact that he had made the same mistake that his father had made with the wretched ningen, Izayoi.

_Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep._


	3. Chapter 2

_(Can't wash it all away)  
(Can't wish it all away)  
(Can't hope it all away)  
(Can't cry it all away) _

Chapter 2

Sesshoumaru walked down the crowded streets, slipping through the summer heat, impassive and acknowledging none who looked his way. Life changed daily, small changes, large changes it was all the same to him. The only guarantee in life was that it was inconsistent and it was beyond his power to make the world stagnant. What drew him forward, kept him walking was the vagabond within him. A tree without roots, a mangrove floating in the vast expansion of water that is life, he wandered his feet seeking something that his mind did not know. Life was a cycle, death and rebirth followed once more by death and rebirth for eternity. He knew his life was finite, immortality was something died to all living on the earth, a gift meant for the gods. He was no god. He was a youkai. He was a prince of darkness despite his angelic visage, Azrael perhaps, the bringer of death. Tenshi, a soft voice echoed in his mind, tenshi, a childish voice. Tenshi, tenshi were good, pure and immortal. He possessed none of those traits. Once, there was a time, once long ago he knew an angel but the angel's purity was corrupted, Sesshoumaru was the cause of the taint and the damage inflicted. It was the course of nature he decided, nothing remained constant. Not even angels. They were bound to change one day, lose their innocence, the purity that marked them as angels. It was the natural order of things. Robert Frost stated the truth quite plainly, "Nothing gold can stay." The hardest thing to keep was innocence, it was impossible to be held captive. He did no wrong, slaughtered no intangible aura, and committed no sin.

What purpose did walking serve? Why bother questioning the life he lead, the decisions he made? The past was the past; he could no more change the past than he could alter the gravity of the Earth. Acceptance, simple in concept and design but so few things were truly accepted in life. His past, his decisions, he could not understand why they plagued him so. He had no regrets. No desire to change what he had done in the past. He closed his eyes and saw eyes filled with tears, irises the same amber hue as his own irises with sharing the same slit-like pupils. No. There were no regrets.

Satisfied with his answers, not that he ever considered a different answer he continued his walk, pace brisk wanting to escape the kaleidoscope of noises and sounds that assaulted his senses. He was unsure, even though he would never admit the fact, of why his thoughts always turned to the same topic. Always shifting, twisting, deviating to a realm he did not like and found little use for. Existence, purpose, they had no meaning; the instant something was born it began to die. From the first microsecond of creation its end drew closer. Therefore, he had done no wrong. Still, despite having his answer, despite knowing the truth he still felt the insatiable need to justify himself. To justify the past, the past that he could not change. Not that he wanted to, but if he could he knew he would not change his decisions. He made no mistakes.

He turned to his right, staring at his new residence and entered the cool building, the glass doors closing behind him in an air of finality. No regrets.

_If I should choose to keep lying to  
Myself pretend my mind is telling truths  
Well I've got my own so who are you  
I know I know_  
Joydrop - _Cocoon_

The setting sun bathed the once pristine white walls with crimson hues, of intangible gold, pinks oranges and soft fire, the dying flame barely illuminating the entire room and its furniture. A solitary book lay upon the cherry stained desk, the gilt edges of the pages shining in the fading light of the sun. Across the top right page of the heavy volume where the words, The Divine Comedy while its partner page bore the name Dante Alighieri, the headings for the satirical poem written in lyrical verse. Pages spread open to the first Volume, Inferno Canto III "The Vestibule of Hell" the black and white coloring of the page spoiled by green highlighter and handwritten notes of blue ink around the lines

_I am on my way into the city of woe  
I am on my way to a forsaken people  
I am on my way to eternal sorrow _

_Sacred justice moved my architect  
I was raised here by divine omnipotence  
Primordal love and ultimate intellect _

_Only those elements time can not wear  
Were made before me, and beyond time I stand  
Abandon all hope ye who enter here _

Silence filled the room as the tapping of keys from the notebook situated next to the book ceased, the bright LCD screen displaying an open Word document scrolled down to the twelfth page of a term paper. Symbolism, satire, literary techniques, rhetorical devices they were all contained within the paper. Sesshoumaru, sitting in a black high backed rolling computer chair continued to proofread his work, refusing to tolerate anything less than perfection in his work.

The assignment was not particularly difficult, for although the poem was written in archaic language it read easily for him, the centuries that he witnessed providing him with a complete knowledge on all things archaic. As he read the poem he found himself intrigued by Dante's grotesque depiction of death, of purgatory, and the afterlife. Once there was a time when he believed ningens incapable of creating such wretchedness, incapable of producing anything of literary merit, with vivid imagery relating to the eternal damnation of unfortunate souls. He released this notion as easily and softly as exhaling, expelling the uselessness from his body. He now knew that ningens were capable of producing marvelous works of literature, art, and music even if what they created had no standing when compared to youkai works. Regardless of this new revelation, Sesshoumaru was immensely pleased that this would be his final year of university and that he would no longer be coerced into submission by a reprehensible ningen professor. Unfortunately, he was faced with the prospect of enduring one entire year in the same vicinity of the hanyous, the insufferable idiot that he had the misfortune of sharing DNA, physical attributes, and family name; his worthless hanyou brother.

Inuyasha, dear Inuyasha, the bane of his existence whose presence always succeeded in reminding Sesshoumaru of how his family's name and status was shamed, tainted by Inutaisho's union with Izayoi. The prestige long upheld by his family, in the feudal era as the inu taiyoukai rulers of the Western Lands and in modern times as part of the social elite shattered the instant the famed and powerful Inutaisho spied the young Izayoi. Sesshoumaru felt the disgust rise within him, a ningen _beauty _they said; he saw no such beauty within her. Such honor, honor that had been withheld for centuries was tarnished and destroyed, the deep loathing that his mother's family felt for Inutaisho had broken the blood ties that bonded the two families. Broken bonds, how the words dredged up the painful memories of his youth, of the days long gone by, days of innocence, and the memories of his mother. His mother, she had been beautiful beyond compare, a tall silver-haired female inu youkai that came from a respectable youkai family one of the oldest of the dwindling species. Her death was something he could barely recall, the memories were mere fragments, unneeded and worthless emotion rather than visions, the more he strained to remember the less he could recall; just as a dream fades while caressing the psyche with invisible fingers of familiarity. The more one strains to remember, the more one coerces the fragile psyche to recall specific details the less and lighter the fingers caress until they vanish completely leaving the psyche void of thoughts and filled by a phantom. He remembered her scent, her voice, but most of all he remembered her grace the way she moved with such elegance that no other female could emulate.

Sesshoumaru sighed, his right hand massaging his temple; normally he was not so pensive and if he was he most certainly would not ponder of the collection of mistakes, why call them mistakes when he regretted none, that was known as his solitary life. What had inspired this arduous journey down the winding river of memories he was not sure, could the day's events have caused him to recall every memory regarding his pedigree in such ardent detail, Sesshoumaru mentally scoffed at the ludicrous proposition. True, his day had been, dare he say it, quite unorthodox from the way that they normally transpired, but still to think that one unexpected encounter would affect his life in such a way was preposterous.

The only thing that had set this day apart from all the others was the fact that a female ningen had crashed into him and landed unceremoniously in an ungainly heap on the floor. The petite black haired and brown eyed ningen had quickly collected herself while blushing profusely and mumbling apologies before proceeded to collect the various objects that had been knocked from her arms and lay strewn about the white tile. He had turned away from her, offering her no assistance for it was her fault that her belongings were on the floor, and she was a ningen. He owed no courtesy to a ningen.

Sesshoumaru turned away from the laptop's screen, certainly he ought to stop pondering the day's mishaps for it was fairly certain that he would never come into contact with the dark haired ningen during this, his final year.

* * *

If Sesshoumaru had been any other person, he would have laughed hysterically at the irony of the situation and his thoughts during that inauspicious day. He had long heard that everything occurred for a specific reason but refused to repudiate the significance behind his strange encounter with the ningen that was now his mate, curse providence and her fickle humor. Sesshoumaru turned his gaze away from the slumbering form of his mate and stared at the lustrous shape of the full moon, whose inconceivable callousness called to him as a siren calls unfortunate sailors to their death in the unfathomable nadirs of the ocean. 

Sesshoumaru's attention returned to his mate when her heard her light coughs, shifting her position slightly he began to rub her back soothingly with one hand. Although the scent of illness no longer lingered around her body she still was not completely recovered and had been confined to rest for two weeks. While she had not been happy with the arrangement she had agreed merely to please him, she was that self-less. Her miko friend had visited her earlier that day and had kept her entertained with stories of Inuyasha's antics and various happenings with her other friends. Sesshoumaru could not help but acknowledge the bitter truth that he had indeed been worried over the health of his fragile mate and had been most pleased, though he repudiated to express his emotions, when she had begun to recover.

Reminiscing over the past was not something that Sesshoumaru enjoyed nor did he regularly partake in such insipid pondering, however, something about this starless night had caused him to recall things that he had no desire to remember. Whatever enchantment had caused this unwanted change in the pattern of his thoughts concerned him, nothing in existence had the right to delve into the recesses of his psyche and cause such unwarranted thoughts, nothing. His university days had passed mostly in a blur, for what was four years compared to the longevity of a youkai, nothing but ephemeral intermissions in a seemingly immortal life. What a fool he had been, he ought to have realized the signs when he had been unable to clear his psyche of the ningen's face, he ought to have realized it then, realized that nothing happens without reason, ought to have realized that things would never be the same.

_Where has my heart gone?  
An uneven trade for the real world  
I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all  
_Evanescence_ – Field of Innocence _

Sesshoumaru walked down the hall of the large campus, in one hand, he held his term paper along with several course books, today would be his last day of Literature of the Western World and he had to take his final. He felt somewhat grateful towards his father for choosing this particular university for him to attend, Patiens University of Business and Fine Arts was not what one would consider a traditional university, on the contrary, instead of having four to six classed daily Patiens' students only had one class a day for one full month, the class started at eight thirty and ended at two. Still, he did feel some confusion towards the seemingly disparate nature of its finest programs. He saw no relationship between business and art, doubted that there even was one and wondered once more why it would focus so much on two seemingly unrelated sectors.

The campus was divided into two parts separated by an expressway and connected by a bridge constructed over the expressway, the reason for such an interesting design was due to the fact that when the original campus needed to be refurbished and expanded to meet the needs of growing technology and population and the land that the campus was built on was far too small. Thus the one hundred acres across the expressway had been bought and a second campus constructed. Sesshoumaru had only been on that side of the university once before an amazing feat in itself considering that it did not contain any of the business courses, only those dedicated to the fine arts. However, starting the next day he would be staying in one of the many buildings for one month to take his Portfolio I class, art had never truly appealed to him before but seeing how he had completed all the prerequisites required for him to ascertain his Bachelors the previous year and was required to take only three more classes, thus his schedule needed to be filled with something thus he chose art.

The final exam had come and gone, Sesshoumaru sat alone on the balcony railing connected to his spacious apartment and watched the sun set behind the enormous buildings of Tokyo . He was loathe to enter his apartment for though it had been impeccably furnished to suite his taste in decoration it lacked something that he was incapable of defining. The change of space had not affected him as his father had first assumed, for Sesshoumaru had the uncanny ability to adapt to almost feasible type of setting whether it be the island of Okinawa or the bustling city of Tokyo .

Sesshoumaru was slightly irate because his capricious psyche had once again succeeded in drawing up the image of the ningen who continuously plagued his thoughts. What caused him to be unable to rid his thoughts of the ningen he could not say, he had only seen her once and still her face continued to haunt him, what did her face contain that continuously demanded his attention, her eyes he later realized. The ningen's eyes where what haunted him, large eyes, child-like eyes that were full of innocence, eyes that he remembered seeing on Inuyasha when he had still been a pup, a pup who had adored his "onii-chan." He inwardly cursed at the memory, eyes filled with innocence indeed. He didn't believe that such a thing could exist in one so old, innocence. It completely undermined his prior justifications; no he refused to reconsider his actions. There were no mistakes made. He had no regrets. Innocence was meant to be damaged. The ningen he met was an anomaly and that explained his fascination with her eyes. Now, now that he had solved the conundrum surely, surely she would cease to haunt his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 3

The pain that grips you  
The fear that binds you  
Releases life in me  
In our mutual  
Shame we idolize  
To blind them from the truth  
That finds a way from who we are  
Please don't be afraid  
When the darkness fades away  
The dawn will break the silence  
Screaming in our hearts  
My love for you still grows  
This I do for you  
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

Chapter 3

Sesshoumaru walked over the bridge that connected the two campuses, the noise of the early morning traffic caused his sensitive ears to ring, but he continued on repudiating to display his apparent discomfort. The first thing that he noticed when he arrived at Building A, that was used mainly for two dimensional art, was the unbearable scent of tempera, acrylic, and oil paints as well as the pungent odor of paint thinner and paint remover. He could also detect the scent of glue, watercolor, crayons, and other mixed media used for the creation of art. The scents were noticeable even from ten yards away; Sesshoumaru inwardly recoiled at the prospect of having to succumb to the overpowering smells in order to complete his "education." However, when he entered the building he was pleasantly surprised to find that the smells were barely detected by his sensitive nose, that and the fact that the room felt as though it was mimicking the inside of a refrigerator. He took in the layout of the large room, the high ceilings, skylights, fluorescent lights, and large windows provided the building with the sufficient lighting. The walls were painted in an off white; the tiled floor was azure in color, the fluorescent lights had been dimmed slightly to that it would not blind the artists. The area had been divided into separate workstations; half of the room had been divided into a type of classroom with artists desks set up in sets of six – two rows of three desks facing each other- with high stools for the alumni to sit on. Near the desks was a large teacher's desk several supply cabinets and a cart of books with _Portfolio_ written on the spine in varying shades of blue. The rest of the room had various easels next to desks that were overflowing with supplies, obviously for the advanced alumni, the ones who had been required to submit an artwork prior to registration and display their portfolio to the professor to see if they qualified for the class. Sesshoumaru noticed that some students had already arrived, as he took note of who he would be sharing a class with he was mildly surprised to see the ningen that had crashed into him talking animatedly with another black-haired ningen.

Sesshoumaru took note of the group she was with and noticed that it consisted of demons and two ningen females. One of the youkai reeked of ookami, she had red hair and green eyes, he believed that her name was Kaori Ayame. The other demon had short ebony hair and crimson eyes, he recognized her to be Karakaze Kagura. The other two were black-haired ningens and one seemed to be familiar and had the scent of Inuyasha on her. He recognized her as Higurashi Kagome, a close "friend" of Inuyasha therefore that left the other ningen to be Amarante Sango, Kagome's best friend. However, that did not solve the mystery of who the ningen with the large child-like eyes was. Sesshoumaru's ponderings were cut short with the arrival of the art professor, a middle-aged ningen with red hair and looked as though she expected everything to be done her way or else. Sesshoumaru quickly sat down at one of the desks having no desire to engage himself in a conversation with the ningen, even if she was to be his professor.

"Ohayo minna-san, I am Kawamori Midori, and I will be your sensei for the next four weeks. I want to welcome you to Portfolio I, which is an entry level art class for college but a level four class academically, for those of you who have never taken an art class before don't worry, you should be able to catch on quickly. Now, since this is the first day I will go over the rules and procedure for my class, I expect my students to be on time, observe all safety rules and you are only allowed one pass per week. There is a lab fee, to pay for materials used in his class that is due by the end of this week. Materials required for this class are one three-ring binder for notes and handouts, a pen, pencil, college-ruled notebook paper and a large eraser; preferably kneaded rubber. We will be doing a lot of vocabulary in this class as well as numerous projects as art is mostly hands on. Now, two of the projects we will be doing are self-portraits, the first will be done in pencil using the proper shading techniques; the other will be done in acrylic paint again observing the rules of shading. Here are some examples of previous work that students have done," said Kawamori-sensei while holding up several artworks, each was well done and demonstrated proper shading and use of highlights. "A word of warning, art is not a class that you will be able to sleep through and still pass, those of you who believe that you can, good-bye. Art requires effort and time and care, points will be awarded or deducted for neatness and creativity, consider yourselves forewarned."

"Ano, Kawamori-sensei," the ningen with the large eyes raised her hand.

"Yes, what is your name?"

"Rin, Hoshiko Rin, and I was wondering if we are going to study perspective and if one of our projects is a still life."

* * *

Sesshoumaru shifted into a more comfortable position, taking care not to wake his sleeping mate. Rin, the name was so simple and yet it held so much meaning, her name was fitting for it meant companion and she was his companion. However, she had proven to be more than just a companion and he had come to realize that she was more than just his mate, from the beginning she had caught his attention but he had never thought, never considered, that she would become more than an acquaintance. However, during the time he had known her she had come to be a close friend. She understood his nature, his need for peace and solitude, never questioned his motives and was adamant on keeping him company for she felt that no-one should be left alone. Rin's sudden movement momentarily startled Sesshoumaru, her body racked by coughs was trembling in his arms, he rubbed her back in a soothing motion, futilely attempting to put her back into the profound sleep that she had been in.

"Sesshoumaru, daijoubu desuka? Nande?" she questioned her voice slightly hoarse from the coughing and leaden with sleep.

"Go to sleep Rin, you are ill and merely a ningen, your body needs rest in order to recover," he gently chastised her knowing that she would more than likely ignore his order and continue to beleaguer him until he either revealed his thoughts or became aggravated with her questioning.

"Iie, not until you tell me what has caused you such unrest considering that the night is growing old."

"Rin," said Sesshoumaru, his voice devoid of emotion, "you must sleep if you hope to be allowed to perform the tasks that bring you so much pleasure, you forget yourself Rin, I am a youkai and as such require less rest than you."

"Sumimasen, moushinikui, I burden you greatly with my illness, sumimasen."

"Iie, you are my mate, and as such it is my duty to care for you when you are ill, I am responsible for your safety and general well being, now sleep."

Their small argument appeared to have drained Rin of what energy she had acquired during the day and she was once more sleeping soundly within seconds of Sesshoumaru's statement. Sesshoumaru sighed, it appeared that he had been sighing more than usual he mused; however, it troubled him that Rin still had not completely cast off the doubt of being a burden to him. At times, such as what transpired seconds ago, she felt that she still imposed upon him and his hospitality and felt that her intrusion, while it had been unexpected, was an unwelcome one. Whether her intrusion was unwelcome or not, Sesshoumaru was not ready to say, if she was not around to break the monotony of his life he was sure that he would slowly become insane. The thought amused him, the prospect of losing his sanity was not one he enjoyed and yet, what was sanity, it was merely a word used to describe something as accepted in the eyes of society but society was often wrong. She had provided something that had been lacking in his life, a type of stability that was not truly stable. He could not describe everything that her presence brought him, but he was sure that he would not be able to liberate himself of the feeling of warmth that he felt for her. She was an anchor on which he could cleave to, a balm that eased away his problems and was predisposed to listen whenever he needed to vent his frustrations.

She truly was unlike anything he had ever had the fortune of knowing, and he admired her for it, to be able to be the way she was and accept the continuous berating she received from youkai and ningens alike, to accept such psychological abuse without anger or hatred was the signs of a true lady. She had been denounced as a traitor by some of her ningen acquaintances, loathed and abhorred by many of her kind because of him. It did not matter to the malicious and pusillanimous creatures that times had changed and that ningens and youkai had come to acknowledge the verity that they had to live together, if not in harmony but in acceptance of the other's race. However, Sesshoumaru understood that ningens were not the only bigots in the world, youkai could be even worse in their condescension for those who were different even if they were youkai but both youkai and ningen alike had a ruthless repugnance for hanyous such as Inuyasha. The words that he had once heard Rin say soon after he met her resonated in his head, the veracity of her statement had astonished him, how effortlessly she understood the nature of the living.

"No one is born a bigot, the teachings that one receives as a child molds their behavior but not their personality, behavior can be changed you are born with your personality."

Truly she was unlike anything he had ever met, how was it that she could be so understanding when he, a youkai of social status, could not accept the derogatory comments of others. How many had perished at his hands, how much blood had he shed with his claws just because one hapless creature had dared to defy him? It made him question if he truly deserved to have someone so pure as his mate, made him question if everything was merely some callous joke of the gods and soon he would find himself alone once more. He loathed how he felt towards Rin, not because of anything she had intentionally done but how she had unconsciously caused him to become dependent on her. He abhorred the fact that he had become dependent on a ningen, even if it was Rin.

"Moving on down my street  
I see people I won't ever meet  
Think of her, take a breath  
Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps  
And sometimes it's a sad song  
But I can not forget  
Refuse to regret  
So glad I met you  
Take my breath away  
And make every day  
Worth all of the pain that I have  
Gone through"  
Maroon 5 –_The Sun_

Maroon 5 – 


	5. Chapter 4

To begin with, I apologize for taking so long to post this chapter. I have been besieged with homework lately, lab report after lab report, I have one due next Monday and another due Wednesday. Also, exams are almost upon me and I must study for those, especially my Chemistry exam. My teacher Dr. McCord has said that it is a standardized test and it is designed to make us fail (very comforting) and part of the exam is a Lab Practical. I probably will be unable to write the next chapter for a while. Once again I apologize.

_"We're supposed to try and be real  
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real"_

_"Imagine one selected day struck out of life, and imagine for a moment how different its course would have been. Pause, you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or __flowers__, that would have never bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."  
_Charles Dickens - _Great Expectations_

Chapter Four

Sesshoumaru's eyes scanned the classroom, glancing at the occasional chart that listed the principles and elements of art as well as some charts that were titled "Careers in Art." So the ningen's name was Rin, and now she was seated directly across from him, simply because Kawamori-sensei did not approve of him sitting by himself. Sesshoumaru knew that arguing with the ningen would be futile so he acted the part of a docile student and situated himself in the only available empty seat. Docile student, what an oxymoron, no student was truly docile except in the presence of a teacher, and most students weren't even docile in a teachers presence. So far, they were only one and one half hour into the class and he could already tell that the teacher was inept for teaching this particular subject, almost every instruction she gave for a specific technique contradicted a previous instruction. Sesshoumaru glanced at Rin, he had noticed that she was ignoring Kawamori-sensei and had been busily drawing something on a blank sheet of paper. She moved her hand slightly and Sesshoumaru was given a clear view of the subject of the drawing, it was a mermaid, the scales had been drawn, and given texture, the hair had highlights in the appropriate places. What surprised him however was the fact that she had drawn the hair as it would appear if under water, many drawings, paintings, or sculptures of mermaids that he had seen portrayed the hair as it would look outside of the water and dry not damp. It was obvious to Sesshoumaru that the nin- Rin, he corrected himself- that Rin had taken art classes before. He wondered what other pieces of art she had compiled; her talent intrigued him. It pained him to acknowledge that most youkai did not have much artistic capability, for youkai were warriors by nature, their skills were battle and such skills were considered petty and weak by many. There had always been the occasional few that possessed such talent, those who had been talented in weaving, dying, painting, sewing, architecture, ceramics, and carpentry. They had been the ones who had kept many wealthy youkai furnished with clothing, furniture, and homes, as well as decorations. Now, however, times had changed and youkai had learned to find such worldly pleasures the way ningens found them, from stores all because of the Industrial Revolution.

Sesshoumaru was becoming increasingly bored with the farce that the teacher was vainly attempting to conceal any imbecile - even the lowliest and ignorant of youkai, could tell that while this teacher may have artistic talent she was an abyssal teacher. It was despicable, demeaning, and an utter waste of his valuable time, to be coerced to listen to Kawamori-sensei's incessant rambling. Education was going to the dogs- no pun intended, he thought, if such inept teachers were being employed in one of the most prestigious colleges in Japan. Sesshoumaru heard Rin gently set per pencil down, the noise would have been in audible if not for his exceptional inu youkai hearing. He looked at her and noticed that instead of copying down lecture notes, as the rest of the class was doing- with the exception of him- she was pulling out a book and began to read. He read the cover, _The Once and Future King_ by T.H White. The book's title sounded vaguely familiar to Sesshoumaru, however, he could not recall exactly where he had heard of it before, perhaps it had been in his Literature class. He then noticed something odd with the way Rin was reading, she had been reading the same paragraph over and over, why did she not continue, was it that she could not understand the paragraph he wondered. His questions were answered when she picked up her pencil and began to sketch something, it became apparent that she had been reading a description and she had reread it to make sure that she drew her subject accurately. Rin then looked up at him, as though she had noticed his gaze, and smiled nervously. She pulled out a sheet of notebook paper out, began writing, and proceeded to discreetly fold the paper and pass it to him. Sesshoumaru was slightly surprised by her actions, nevertheless he accepted the note, unfolded it, read her message that was written, and vaguely noticed that she had small handwriting.

Boring class isn't it? Poor Kawamori-sensei, she should have stuck with teaching kindergartners, at least then she would have a slightly attentive class. Anyway, I wanted to apologize properly for running into you in the hall; I should have paid more attention to what was in front of me. What I'm trying to say is gomen nasai for bumping into you….I don't believe I caught your name.

Sesshoumaru pulled out a pen and decided to write a response to Rin's message, there was nothing else to do he reasoned.

Do not trouble yourself Rin, if I recall it was you who ended up on the floor, you should be more careful in your actions. The reason that you never caught my name was that I never gave it to you, however, it is Amaya Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru then place the note on her desk, using his demonic speed so that Kawamori-sensei would not notice what he had done. Rin looked surprised to find the note on her desk so easily, and he was surprised that he had actually responded to her note, and for his unusually amiable response. Perhaps his behavior could be attributed to his complete and utter boredom; perhaps it was because she reminded him so much of Inuyasha as a pup. Perhaps it was because she was so benevolent-such a _sanguine_- that he could not help but succumb to her antics. Whatever the reasons, Sesshoumaru found himself conversing with Rin by passing notes back and forth, however, he wondered why she opted to write to him rather than her friends.

Sesshoumaru, the killing perfection ,for some reason it suites you. Sesshoumaru-san, why are you in this class anyway if you don't mind me asking, you seem kind of, oh I don't know, irritated to be here. It's kind of obvious, if you catch my meaning, though I don't think anyone else saw through your superficial façade.

This comment galled Sesshoumaru, how dare she think that he could be so easily read, even if her observations were accurate it still did not give her the right to make such assertions. He had spent centuries perfecting his expressionless façade and in less than one hour one simple ningen saw through it. Sesshoumaru debated on how to respond to her accurate assertions, should he permit her to know how well she had judged him or should he tell her not to make unfounded accusations? Either way he was not sure if he could save what little bit of pride she had left him on the subject of his "mask" and lying to Rin was not something he truly wanted to do. To utter a lie was as despicable as forcing a female into submission and it had been taught to him from an early age that lying without a legitimate reason was unacceptable for an inu taiyoukai. So deeply engraved was this honor code that he could not feel compelled enough to break it, Inuyasha regularly broke this honor code, however unintentionally, and Sesshoumaru refused to be like Inuyasha. He decided to compromise between the two, he would tell Rin that he was a bit irritated by the teacher's ineptitude but he was most assuredly not irritated to be in the class itself. There was no reason for him to anger an artist in an art class by telling them that said subject was boring. Another lesson taught to him by his father: never insult artisans for one day you may find yourself commissioning one of them to create something.

Kawamori is an inept teacher and I despise being in her presence, the class however seems to have much potential.

Sesshoumaru flicked the note across the table to Rin, and he inwardly winced at her reaction to his answer- with one dark eyebrow arched gave him a look that said that she clearly did not believe that his answer was the complete truth. If he had been either Inuyasha or Kouga or willing to deign himself to using profanity in the presence of others, he would have began to curse Rin for her acute sensibilities when it came to reading others. He saw Rin quickly pen a response, fold the note back up and smirk mischievously at him, glance at Kawamori-sensei and passed it to him.

_Really now, is that so? If you say it, it must be so. However, I beg to differ. You see as much as this class may have potential if the teacher is inept then the class becomes completely and utterly worthless. Might I also add that Kawamori-sensei is no, I repeat, is not certified in the fine arts. Let me put it this way: Kawamori-sensei majored in Economics. She does not even have a background in art. She is just here to get paid and lecture, most college professors are. Whoops, I think I said far too much._

Sesshoumaru calmly folded the note and looked up at Rin, he quickly suppressed a growl, she still had that damnable grin plastered on her face. To say that that grin infuriated him was an understatement, he was well aware of the fact that many professors were not qualified to teach the courses they taught. That was the whole purpose of college- to make the alumni fail so that they would be coerced to take the course over and then the college would make more money. He recalled the words he had first heard his freshman year, "Look at the person to your right and now look at the person to your left, in a couple of weeks they won't be there." He also recalled a conversation he had overheard when he had been wandering the campus, a professor was told that he was giving out too many A's and if he did not stop doing that and fail more alumni he would lose his job. Sesshoumaru decided that the topic needed to be changed, as interesting as it was to discuss how poorly education was being treated in this day and age. . Sesshoumaru decided that the topic needed to be changed, as interesting as it was to discuss how poorly education was being treated in this day and age. _Rin_ he wrote, still slightly uncomfortable with addressing her as such.

Rin, why do you consistently write to me instead of your friends, would it not be more entertaining to converse with someone who you share interests with rather than someone who you barely know?

He quickly sent the note across to her, when she read it her brow puckered slightly when her eyes narrowed and the corners of her lips drooped, she picked up her pen and wrote her reply pausing often to consider her words. Her display of melancholy unbalanced Sesshoumaru, normally he did not care how a ningen felt, but to see her lose that look of happiness was something that he never wanted to bear testament of again. Her reply was sullen, and he was shocked to realize that it pained him slightly to know he was the cause of her unhappiness, he decided then that he would never intentionally cause her to lose her smile.

I'm sorry, do I bother you with my incoherent statements? Please forgive my impudence in addressing you so familiarly when in reality I have no right to do so, I shall leave you alone now, if that is what you so desire. I am very sorry that I ever troubled you, a youkai such as yourself should probably be extremely vexed my lack of courtesy.

Sesshoumaru scolded mentally scolded himself for caring over the emotional health of a ningen, a ningen that was obviously not of social standing, and it irked him that he had become soft. However, he could not rid himself of the feelings of guilt and thus decided to appease her fears and humor her for as long as she desired, Sesshoumaru mentally scoffed at his thoughts, perhaps he was truly his father's son.

You misunderstood my statement Rin; I merely found it strange that you would ignore your friends simply to write correspondences to someone you barely knew, however, it does not bother me if you choose to converse with me. This Sesshoumaru feels no inclination to deter you from writing to whomever you choose, conversely, I suggest that you should not write to just anyone for some people can be rather callous and have heinous thoughts and beliefs.

Her response to his statement was immediate, warm relief spread across her face though he could not explain why it pleased her so much that he approved of her attempts at establishing a friendship. The rest of their time was spent much in the same manner, she would write to him and he would answer, the process remained unbroken until the students were dismissed for lunch. At that point she waved at him and stated cheerfully that she would talk to him after lunch and then she ran off to catch up with her friends discussing how boring the class had been.

* * *

Sesshoumaru was sure that Rin was asleep once more, her even breathing and the rapid movement of her eyes denoted that she was in the REM stage of sleep, he wondered what she was dreaming of and if it involved him in any way. At this Sesshoumaru shook his head, it was utterly redundant of him to care about what his ningen mate dreamed of, she would most likely not remember in the morning and he refused to deign himself to ask her. It was a matter that was worth neither his concern nor his time, petty dreams held little value, and although both humans and youkai alike dreamed, ningen dreams were often adulterated by their greed or thoughts of carnal pleasure. However, this was not true of Rin, her thoughts held non of the putrid emotional scents that he loathed with every fiber of his being, and that was what intrigued him for he had never before been so close to a sleeping ningen. When had he become so caring, what had caused him to lose much of his callous nature, was it Rin who caused this transformation or had he always been this way and had finally began to shed the constricting façade that he had always worn? Sesshoumaru turned his gaze to the clock on his nightstand, the time read three and forty-five minutes were had the time gone, it appeared that time seemed to pass much quicker when one decided to relive the past.

"I have been bent and broken, but I hope into a better shape."  
Charles Dickens – _Great Expectations_


	6. Chapter 5

Once again I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out, I had hoped to finish it by the time I startedmy junior year, which is now impossible since I start school Monday. The reason for such a slow update iscombination of things, I've been ill and I've barely been home this summer and my laptop crashed, throw in my job at the hospital and well...time is impossible to find. I do intend to fiinish this fic, however, updates may be few and far between because my classes include the following: AP Chemistry, AP Psychology, AP English, Law Studies, US History, Pre-Calculus, American History Honors, and a Writing class that is mandatory for AP English. The only classthat I'll be able to relax in is Drawing and Painting I.My Chemistry Honors teacher Dr. McCord will also be my AP Chemteacher...and AP Chem is a yearlong class.

* * *

_Can't wash it all away  
Can't wish it all away  
Can't cry it all away  
Can't scratch it all away_

_There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is._Albert Einstein

Chapter 5

The problem with school was that every day quickly fell into a familiar and boring pattern, every day began the same way and ended the same way and just because Sesshoumaru and Rin had found each other's companionship the days were still very monotonous. Perhaps saying that each day was exactly like the day before was a bit stereotypical but in Sesshoumaru's expert opinion, each day was exactly the same: Kawamori-sensei lectured for a while (during which Rin and Sesshoumaru would pass notes), showed them several art techniques and then they did a project. The worst projects had to be the ones involving clay, it was virtually impossible for Sesshoumaru to work the clay and keep it smooth because of his claws, each time he went to make a small detail a claw would score the clay's surface. There was nothing Sesshoumaru could do about his predicament, overworking clay had the tendency to overdry it, and dry clay was also impossible to work with (it cracked far too easily). Oh, he could add a little bit of water to the soft malleable substance but if he added too much water the clay would be no more firm than mud. That, however, was the least of Sesshoumaru's worries with the accursed clay, every time he worked with the damnable substance a small quantity would get stuck under his claws and harden making it a very tedious process to clean his hands. Sesshoumaru was ashamed to admit that he felt a twinge of envy towards Rin, she was truly an artist: she knew how to bend the accursed clay to her will; could coerce it into doing her bidding without overdrying or scarring the surface. It galled a little to know that a ningen could do something he could not, a serious blow to his pride and it infuriated him to know that he would never be able to best her in this particular field not to mention the fact that he lacked the creativity needed to actually make an easily identifiable subject. Rin enjoyed mocking him when they had to create these types of works, but she was too benevolent to mock him often and usually ended up helping him with his projects. It was shameful for him to accept her help, shameful for him to not do his own work, his work was his responsibility and it was inexcusable for him to shirk his responsibilities merely because he was not fully capable of performing them perfectly.

As the days went by he learned so much and yet so little about his ningen acquaintance, he could not bring himself to call her a friend even though it was blatantly obvious to everyone else that she was indeed his friend. Her artistic skills were the best he had ever seen, she admitted to him that it was not a natural talent but a skill she had spent years to perfect, it had cost countess tears, overwhelming frustration, and limitless patience and numerous classes to get her where she was and she never regretted a moment of it. Her work was not the sickeningly sweet kind that portrayed the world as perfect and beautiful, instead it portrayed the cruelty of the world (some of her drawings even made Sesshoumaru nauseous) and the beauty of unmarred nature. She was surprised by his reaction to one of her paintings, it was taken from Dante's _The Divine Comedy_, it portrayed the vestibule of Hell; and Sesshoumaru felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he viewed the grotesque images of suffering and decay. One could palpably feel the horror of the people in the Vestibule of Hell, almost feel the maggots crawling on their own skin, and could feel the overwhelming exhaustion they felt. Even the great Sesshoumaru, known for his indifference felt pity for the hapless creatures stuck in perpetual pain, such was the Vestibule of Hell, always chasing the flag that represented salvation and respite, chasing and grasping at it but _never_ allowed to touch it.

She had drawn him once, once when Kawamori-sensei was lecturing, she drew the blue crescent moon on his forehead, the magenta stripes on his cheeks, the splashes of red on his eyelids, and his amber eyes. She once told him that it was his eyes that one never forgot, so callous and sinister resembling molten gold, that they pierced through ones soul and that nothing could be used as a barrier against them. However, the most surprising part of her drawing of him was that she drew him in his traditional youkai armor, with his two swords, and with his very fluffy fur pelt. When he questioned her about her knowledge of him owning a fur pelt she merely shrugged and said that Inuyasha told her and her friends about it once before and that she heard that Inutaisho-sama owned one and she assumed he would as well. The days turned into weeks and Sesshoumaru found himself spending time with her _outside_ of school, how it all transpired he could not recall, but she even cajoled him into going to an art museum with her. It was rather interesting to see some of the works; the talent and realism in some shocked him, while the surrealism and abstractness of other left him irritated, it was evident that their creator was inept at whatever it was they attempted to portray wondering why othersconsidered them such masterpieces. During this outing he noticed that Rin carried two spiral-bound books with her, one turned out to be a sketchpad in which she drew what she liked best in some of the pieces, the other contained ruled paper in which she wrote down observations. He read what one of the sheets of paper read once; it contained various notes on color schemes (monochromatic, analogous, etc), the use of emphasis, balance, what type of balance, the type of symmetry (symmetrical, asymmetrical, or radial), perspective, media used, if there was any movement portrayed and how it was portrayed, and the pros and cons of the techniques used as well is countless other observations. Sesshoumaru decided that he never wanted to read any of the notes ever again, the words were simple but meaningless to him, and it was embarrassing to admit that he did not know what the majority of the words meant.

They found a minute small statue of a bear, painted brown and sand painted, and when Rin saw it she laughed because thought the bear appeared to be made of solid rock it was actually _Styrofoam_. Rin noticed Sesshoumaru's slightly perplexed expression and explained to him that to create a Styrofoam carving one took a large piece of Styrofoam carved it, sand papered it, glued on any fine details (ears, the nose, etc), and then painted it with two coats of gesso. After the gesso dried the artist painted the carving without worrying about the paint being absorbed into the Styrofoam, Rin made the process sound so effortless; however, she admitted that Styrofoam was very difficult to work with and often crumbled easily. She always explained the various techniques involved in creating many of the artworks displayed, attempted to help him understand the significance, the work involved, and she attempted to make him try to appreciate the reason for their title of _Masterpiece. _Sometimes, however, her explanations succeeded in only perplexing him even more (however, he refuted to admit that to anyone) but he felt that she already knew and decided not to press the matter, sometimes however she just became exasperated.

"Honestly, Sesshoumaru-kun, sometimes I wonder whether or not you really are from the elite part of our social caste, they're supposed to have decent tastes in art."

"A bit stereotypical, do you not think Rin, that statement is like me saying that all ningens had horrid hygiene which is not the case with several of the ningens I am aquatinted with, yourself included."

"I don't know Sesshoumaru-_sama_ your tastes in art are the polar opposites of what Inuyasha-kun likes, then again perhaps it is the different temperaments the two of you possess, that or-."

"I understand Rin, my opinions in art are mediocre in your opinion, I believe that subject was covered last week."

"Fine, fine I shall stop pestering you over your, ahem, eclectic tastes in artworks, and give you a moment of respite, but only until the next time we come here," she answered with an unholy grin plastered across her face.

Sometimes it scared him-no he feared nothing – it disturbed him (yes that was acceptable) it disturbed him that she saw through his façade of cold indifference so effortlessly. Her uncanny ability to read peoples emotions and correctly interpret the subtle, very subtle in his case, changes in body language, allowed her to usually know what to say or when to drop a subject, the latter of course was very rare. However, her overwhelming enthusiasm was slightly more disturbing than her excellent perception abilities, and he found out the hard way that it was infectious.

"Sesshoumaru-kun, look, it's the painting of the Greek God Eros and the princess Psyche, whom the goddess Aphrodite was jealous of, so jealous that she wanted Eros to make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest thing she laid eyes on!" Rin cried enthusiastically running the words together as she ran towards the painting on canvas with Sesshoumaru trailing behind her - oblivious to the reason for her enthusiasm.

"Eros and Psyche, the sign says _Cupid and Psyche, _Rin perhaps you are mistaken," Sesshoumaru stated as he read the small plate beneath the painting that displayed both the name of the work and the artist who created it.

"Cupid and Eros are the same person Sesshoumaru-kun, the only difference is that one is the Roman name for the god of love and the other is the Greek name, honestly haven't you ever studied mythology?" she questioned in an amused voiced laced with an undercurrent of exasperation.

Sesshoumaru inwardly winced, he studied mythology albeit a very small amount and what he studied was limited only to East Asia he believing that the Western World did not have vary interesting myths and beliefs.

Rin eyed him carefully, "I'll tell you the story of Eros and Psyche, and a few others, on one condition, and it is that you promise to become more well-rounded in your knowledge of literature, the fine arts, and mythology and never limit yourself to any one particular area."

Sesshoumaru couldn't prevent the small smirk that appeared on his face, the little wench was giving him the opportunity to save his pride and help him better understand mythology from the entire world, or at least European mythology, and for that he felt grateful. "Alright, I agree to the terms," he answered cursing inwardly for letting the amusement he felt fill the words but as he watched her attempt to smother her giggles, he decided that the incident was insignificant.

"Very well, as I mentioned Eros, or _Cupid_ as you called him, is the God of love and the son of the Greek goddess of love, beauty, and fertility Aphrodite also known as Venus in the Roman culture. Basically, Psyche was a beautiful princes said to rival Aphrodite in beauty and soon the people began to worship her and Aphrodite's temples stood empty devoid of offerings and sacrifices and the goddess started to age. Therefore she called her son Eros to her and ordered him to shoot Psyche with one of his magical arrows, they caused a person to fall in love with the first living thing they see human beast or other. Unfortunately for Aphrodite and fortunately for Psyche when Eros saw her he was entranced by her beauty and felt pity for what his mother told him to do was cruel and he didn't notice that the arrow fell from his bow and scratched his hand thus he immediately fell in love with Psyche," at this Sesshoumaru raised an elegant eyebrow. "Hey don't look at me, I didn't create this story the Greeks did and then the Romans _borrowed_ and made their own improvements to it, I'm just explaining to you the tale behind this magnificent painting by Francois Gerard. Now, after this incident a spell came over Psyche an invisible hedge of thorns surrounded so none were able to near her, her parents became distressed and sought an oracle to find out the reason behind this awful situation for they wanted to marry Psyche off. The oracle told them that Psyche's husband was not a mortal man and that they needed to leave her on the mountain, her parents feared that she was destined to marry a monster. When Psyche was left alone the winds swept her up and carried her to a magnificent palace and all the servants turned out to be invisible, her husband Eros arrived at the home that night he appeared to be invisible and he told her that she could never look upon him."

"Permit me to guess the rest of the story, she disobeyed Eros and gazed upon him breaking his trust because she feared that her husband was a monster, he realized her treachery and abandoned her, yes?"

"Mhm, but after a series of ordeals that Aphrodite put her through the two lovers were allowed to remain together by the order of the Chief God, Zeus also know as Jupiter in Roman Mythology."

"A typical happy ending, however, unfortunately, real life does not function that way and is much more complicated than mythology."

"Yes, reality or should I say our perception of reality, is much different from mythology, for example we are not eternally youthful like the gods and goddesses."

"I believe that you misunderstood me Rin, I meant that life is far more complex that it is not as mediocre as mythology that relationships do not normally end in such happy endings."

"I understood you perfectly Sesshoumaru-kun, I understand that life is quite cruel and merely wished to lighten the mood, some say that I am overly optimistic."

"Optimism is not always a bad thing Rin, in truth it is often vary beneficial because it keeps hope alive and without hope life becomes excessively difficult to live."

Her laughter rang in his ears, "Really, Sesshoumaru-kun, you never cease to amaze me, I believe that is the most introspective thing I have ever heard you say, no wait that's a lie."

* * *

Sesshoumaru stared at his father's impassive face; his cool façade revealed nothing of the overwhelming confusion he felt inside. Inutaisho faced a serious dilemma one that involved his eldest son and the future owner of his company, since he felt that Inuyasha disliked the idea of working in a position full of paperwork. However, this was not the moment nor the place for him to chuckle over his youngest son's irrefutable irresponsibility towards work. Inuyasha held great potential in business however, he chose not to indulge his potential and that often left Inutaisho wondering what Inuyasha would do with his life.

Sesshoumaru felt the potent taste of confusion swell within him, his father rarely summoned him to his office since the day college started and the urgent message he received the previous day did little to qualm the feeling. The scent of male bafflement permeated the air however muted it was and Sesshoumaru knew that his father felt the same amount of confusion he did if not more, the question, however, was why.

Inutaisho leaned over the desk elbows resting on the table, stippled his long fingers, and rested them against his chin, his face still impassive as he peered at his son.

Sesshoumaru felt the urge to fidget under his father's scrutiny and promptly squashed it, fidgeting was quite undignified and it demonstrated weakness and Sesshoumaru refused to display either.

"Sesshoumaru," Inutaisho began feeling that perhaps he could make up what he needed to say as he went along, "I have a matter of utmost importance to discuss with you. It appears that-" Whatever Inutaisho needed to reveal to his son was interrupted by the irritating ringing of the phone on his desk. "Yes," he barked into the receiver half-relieved for the intrusion and half-irritated for the disturbance of his private conference when he clearly instructed that he desired no interruptions.

"Inutaisho-sama," came the soft voice of his ookami youkai secretary, "Myouga-sama requests an audience with you, I explained to him that you wanted no interruptions but he insisted that the matter was important and that "time was of the essence.""

Inutaisho stifled an exasperated sigh, whatever Myouga needed to tell him with such urgency could only be interpreted as bad news, "Very well, send him in." He turned looked at Sesshoumaru once more, "Sesshoumaru, I am afraid that this meeting was a waist of your time, but we will continue it at another date."

Sesshoumaru merely nodded once at his father, signifying his consent rose from his seat, bowed to his father and swiftly left the room, still confused by his father's strange actions.

* * *

Two years passed since the awkward meeting with his father and Sesshoumaru still found himself residing in Tokyo, a college graduate and still friends with the recently graduated ningen named Rin. He loathed to admit that Rin managed to worm her way into his life and that he cleaved to her the way a drowning man cleaved to anything that would keep him afloat long enough to be rescued or reach land. She balance out his frigid nature, showing enthusiasm, sorrow, and vary rarely jealousy, emotions that he did not indulge in for they were weaknesses. _Yin_ and _Yang_, male and female, darkness and light, he represented the element the darkness while she portrayed the element light, equilibrium perfect balance that was what they were. A low growl of frustration escaped Sesshoumaru; it sickened him, he the great Sesshoumaru felt attached to a ningen, of all the creatures that roamed the earth he cared for a ningen, one of the weakest and most malevolent creatures. Not just any ningen his mind insisted, the ningen that he felt attached to went by the name of _Rin_ and he ought to address her as so, for ningen was much too impersonal.

At the moment Sesshoumaru stood outside of the Akabeko waiting for said ningen's arrival and at a soft protest from his stomach –much to his embarrassment- for lunch. Youkai long ago learned the awful truth, that if they were to coexist with ningens they needed to accept _cooked_ food, especially cooked meat and Sesshoumaru learned that beef was actually quite delicious cooked. Rin knew of his affinity, or as she called it his _fetish_, for beef and invited him to the Akabeko, a traditional style restaurant built in the eighteen hundreds and served a surprisingly delicious beef. From where he stood, directly outside the restaurant, and near the door he could smell the tantalizing aroma of the seasoned beef, green tea, rice, and the usual cooked vegetables. Sesshoumaru felt a glimmer a relief as his sensitive nose caught Rin's vary familiar scent, though he did not understand the embarrassment that laced it, and he heard the sound of footsteps event though the sounded hesitant.

"Gomen-nasai Sesshoumaru-kun, I hope that I didn't keep you waiting too long," she said nervously her eyes looking at everything except his face.

Sesshoumaru was surprised to see that she wore a gratuitous amount of make-up on her face, more specifically powder and the most make-up appeared to be near her left temple, though he doubted any ningen would notice. Well, that most certainly explained the embarrassment in her scent and the hesitance in her steps, she felt self-conscious about a blemish on her face and he supposed she felt fickle for trying to cover it up.

"Not at all Rin," he nonchalantly answered her, "however, shall we go in, I am ashamed to admit that I do feel an inkling of hunger and the Akabeko does serve delicious beef."

Her laughter tinkled in his ears and he noticed that the embarrassment vanished from her scent, "Well then, it isn't very smart to keep a ravenous youkai waiting for his meal, especially if his meal happens to contain something he loves to eat."

Sesshoumaru glared at Rin, he never mentioned that he felt ravenous and he most certainly did not love to eat beef, how dare she insinuate something so inconceivable. However, as he watched her smiling face he realized that all along he was fighting a losing battle against her, she reminded him too much of an innocent child at times, reminded him of a young Inuyasha.

"Sesshoumaru-kun, daijoubu desuka? Your face, well more specifically your eyes appeared to glaze over and you normally only get that way when you're in deep thought, do you want to discuss it?"

Sesshoumaru mentally shook himself out of his reverie, the past needed to remain in the past, and it did not bode well for him to dwell over the long overlooked days when he and Inuyasha actually had a friendly relationship.

"No Rin," he answered, "now is not the time to drudge up long buried thoughts, it is normally better to let sleeping dogs lie, and besides, as you said, I am ravenous."

She slowly nodded her head, understanding that whatever the matter was it was more than likely personal, that the wise thing to do was not to ask, and proceeded to enter the restaurant with him. A waitress seated at a low table that contained a pot of tea and two cups and give them menus stating that she would return shortly to take their orders.

* * *

Sesshoumaru found himself once more in his father's office, seated once more before the same dark colored desk, the only difference was that two years passed since he found himself in the same situation. Sesshoumaru hoped that this time there were no interruptions, for his Father's erratic behavior peaked his curiosity and this time he needed answers. Sesshoumaru loathed impertinence and rarely indulged in the ill-mannered act, however, this time he felt that impertinence was the only solution left open to him, for his impatience rivaled that of his curiosity.

"Father," Sesshoumaru began, "not to be impertinent, but this Sesshoumaru wishes to know the reason for this meeting that you postponed for two years. I am also obliged to say that I do not wish you to waste time in attempting to make your answers eloquent, I just want the answers and two years is time enough."

Inutaisho did not appear to be surprised at his eldest son's declaration, he too knew that the matter needed to be resolved that Sesshoumaru needed to know of the circumstance before it became too late.

"Yes Sesshoumaru, I have postponed this meeting long enough, and you do need answers, answers that I am embarrassed to say that I do not know how to give, so bear with me."

Sesshoumaru nodded his understanding, masking his shock that his father, Inutaisho, was unprepared, "Very well father, I will listen to whatever it is that you need to tell me."

"Sesshoumaru, you do remember our meeting from six years ago, yes, when I informed you of my decision of sending you to college, a college that also accepted ningens. Well, that day I neglected to tell you something extremely important, the real reason that I summoned you to my office was not even remotely similar to the one I gave you however both affect your future. Sesshoumaru, you are a young demon barely in your prime and I hate what I am about to tell you that you must do, there is no acceptable alternative and it can no longer be overlooked. Sesshoumaru, you need to find a mate, the heads of our affiliates feel that in order for you to fully be able to handle the duty of running a business you need to have experience in responsible situations, they feel that having a mate will provide these situations. If you chose not to find a mate I am afraid that," Inutaisho paused for a moment almost afraid to go on, "I am afraid that Inuyasha will be my successor instead of you. There is another reason for no longer putting this matter off, your time is running out at first it was fifty-seven years but now you only have one."

Sesshoumaru stared at his father in barely concealed disbelief, preposterous, simply preposterous, he was to find a mate within one year and if he did not Inuyasha would succeed his father instead of him. The idea was ludicrous, condemning, and Sesshoumaru felt cold fury start to envelope his mind turning his vision red.

"Let me make sure I understand this situation correctly," Sesshoumaru growled, "I am expected to find a mate within one year or else Inuyasha will inherit the business in my stead, is this correct?"

Inutaisho slowly nodded, he knew his son was angry, knew his son felt hurt at this revelation and he knew that if anyone needed to bear the blame it was he, for he wasted too much time, and he lost his son's trust for not telling him sooner.

"Father, are you aware of the difficulty I shall have finding an adequate mate in such a short time, why did you wait so long in telling me and why did you not attempt to revoke the decision?"

"I tried Sesshoumaru, I didn't tell you earlier because I hoped that maybe you would find a mate on your own and I tried to revoke the decision but unless you obtain a mate within a year you will never be accepted as my successor, forgive me Sesshoumaru. However, I find it somewhat hard to believe that in the six years you spent in Tokyo you never became acquainted with a female, it is preposterous to think that you remained friendless for those six years and Inuyasha mentioned someone by the name of Rin."

"Rin, is merely an acquaintance, and she is a ningen, that makes her unsuitable as a mate, while it is true that I enjoy her company I can not take her as my mate."

"Sesshoumaru please"

"If that is all you needed to tell me Father then I shall take my leave, I wish to leave for Tokyo as soon as possible."

I never could have seen this far  
I never could have seen this coming  
It seems like my world is falling apart  
Why is everything so hard?  
I don't think I can deal  
With the things you said  
Itjust won't go away

In a perfect world  
This could never happen  
In a perfect world  
You'd still be here  
And it makes no sense  
I can just pick up the pieces  
But to you this means nothing  
Nothing at all

Simple Plan – _Perfect World_

It's true, Styrofoam is a pain to work with, it so fragile that you could break the piece in half if your not careful, that or you can break off a small piece that cannot be glued back on. Also, it makes the largest mess…. The Styrofoam ends up all over your hands, hair, clothes, desk, everywhere….so make sure you don't sneeze .:..But the end result is pretty nice…. sand painted things, especially if you use dark paint such as brown or black, creates the illusion of stone and makes the object appear to be heavier than it is. : sigh: I miss the days when I actually had the space in my schedule to take or do art (doodling doesn't really count)….oh well, c'est la vie.


	7. A Brief Interlude

I have come upon a roadblock in this story, I already have this story briefly outlined, however instead of getting ideas for Ch.6 I'm getting them for Ch.7, in an effort to bypass the roadblock I have written this brief interlude. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's aging rate came from Ann Bishops' _Daughter of the Blood_:  
Among thelong-lived racesthere wereperiods of rapid growth followed by long plateaus."  
On a different note, my free time is severly limited, being a Junior means that I have the SAT/ACT looming before me. Also I am a member of Spanish Honor Society, Chemistry Honor Society, and Art Honor Society. Aside from working at the hospital, library, court, I am also working on decorations for Homecoming and making trips to the UCF campus in Orlando for chemistry on Sundays. However, I promise to still work on this fic.

**A Brief Interlude**

I am losing you again  
Let me out and let me in  
'Cause you're not alone here not at all  
Let me belong here  
Break my fall  
Breaking Benjamin – _Break My Fall_

Breaking Benjamin – 

Sesshoumaru heard soft sniffling from underneath his bed, the scent was unmistakable, and the reason for the sniffling was evident in the scent, as was the fear. Sesshoumaru bent down and lifted up the covers, his little half-brother's curled up form trembled as hot tears trickled down his face, an occasional sniffle was heard as he stared at his onii-chan with large watery eyes.

"Inuyasha, daijoubu desu ka, why are you hiding under my bed when you ought to be asleep?"

At this Inuyasha trembled even more a broken sob escaped his lips as more tears trickled down his face, "Okka-san will be angry with me, so will Otou-san because, because Inuyasha was bad." The young child's sobs increased at these words, their brackish scent disquieted Sesshoumaru, and they left trails down Inuyasha's face.

Sesshoumaru sighed, Inuyasha was the equivalent of a ningen five-year old while he, he was the equivalent of a thirteen year old ningen and all things included Inuyasha was too old for this constant problem that plagued them all. "Maa maa, it's all right," he said soothingly as he slowly drew Inuyasha out from under the bed. He wrinkled his nose at the horrid smell, "So you wet the bed again, it's all right Izayoi and otou-san, won't be angry for it happens to all of us. Dry your tears little one, there is no need for them, we all have our little accidents."

Inuyasha sniffed and looked at his brother his large eyes red and puffy; "I bet you never wet the bed onii-chan, you're perfect and never ever make mistakes like me."

At these words Sesshoumaru smiled and slowly shook his head at his younger brother, "Nothing is perfect Inuyasha, I too wet the bed when I was younger and Otou-san never became angry with me nor will he be angry with you."

"Honto ne? You wet the bed too and nothing happened and you weren't punished for it?" Inuyasha questioned looking hopefully into his onii-chan's eyes.

"Aa, come now Inuyasha wee need to get you cleaned up, a warm bath and some clean pajamas," Sesshoumaru answered while scooping Inuyasha's small form into his arms.

He carried Inuyasha into the bathroom, set him down on the bathroom counter and began to fill the tub with warm water and a small quantity of lavender bubble bath. He stripped Inuyasha of his soiled bedclothes wrinkling his nose in distaste of the awful scent, as an inu youkai he naturally hated any other scent than his and of his belongings, and the soiled bedclothes were blatantly marked as Inuyasha's. The scent would take weeks to fully be scrubbed off the clothes, ningens never would detect the scent after the first washing, youkai however noticed it and there was still the matter of Inuyasha's mattress and sheets not to mention the area beneath Sesshoumaru's bed.

"Alright Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru said as he turned of the running water then he turned scooped Inuyasha into his arms once more and placed him in the tub, "time for your bath cause you really stink, and your stench is overwhelming." At this, he wrinkled his nose for emphasis but he could not help the small smile that escaped his lips.

Inuyasha giggled at his onii-chan's choice of words but then he looked at his brother in confusion, "Onii-chan, what does ober-vell-meeng mean?"

"Overwhelming, overwhelming Inuyasha, it means that something so strong that you can not bear it, overpowering," Sesshoumaru answered while scrubbing Inuyasha's arms with a soft washcloth.

"Like Otou-san is really powerful and he's stronger than anybody in the whole wide world and noone can beat him, like that?"

"Not exactly, Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru laughed but at Inuyasha's downhearted look he hastily added, "but it's close enough," and was awarded with a toothy grin.

"Onii-chan," Inuyasha began as Sesshoumaru moved the wash cloth to cleanse Inuyasha's knees, feet, and legs, "I'm your otouto-san and nothing will ever change the way you feel ne, you love me ne?" Inuyasha whispered the last couple of words and Sesshoumaru could notice the sadness behind the words without the change in Inuyasha's scent.

"Of course you're my otouto-san Inuyasha, nothing will ever change that, this Sesshoumaru gives you his word on that."

"Honto ne, promise onii-chan, do you really promise?"

"Aa," Sesshoumaru answered and began to lather Inuyasha's hair with shampoo.

Sesshoumaru finished washing Inuyasha's hair, bundled Inuyasha in a towel, and set him on the counter once more. He drained the tub and wondered what he what he would do with Inuyasha's soiled bedclothes whose stench permeated throughout his bathroom, despite the soothing scent of lavender. He picked Inuyasha up and walked out of the bathroom and out of his bedroom, into the hall he went passing three wooden doors before stopping in front of the fourth one. The atrocious stench of urine was stronger here, Sesshoumaru face contorted into one of disgust; nevertheless he pushed open the door and walked in. Sesshoumaru's eye was infallible as he surveyed the room, the bed sheets were rumpled and damp, the floor littered with various children's toys and crayons, a few coloring books tossed haphazardly on the ground. There was small cherry-stained dresser positioned against the far wall of the room, Sesshoumaru walked towards it, placed Inuyasha on top of it and rummaged through the drawers finding a clean set of clothes. The dresser's wood protected the clothes, and so they remained unsaturated with the unpleasant smell in the air.

Sesshoumaru found decent attire for Inuyasha, he held them up and after receiving a nod of approval picked Inuyasha up once more and left the room. He reentered the hall and continued walking until he reached the staircase and walked down them to the second floor of the house were all the guestrooms were located. He entered the first vacant one and set Inuyasha gently on the bed, he took the towel of and dressed Inuyasha in the clean clothing before taking the damp towel into the bathroom and returning with a fresh one. Sesshoumaru towel-dried Inuyasha's hair and then tucked him into bed, he turned to leave when Inuyasha's sleepy voice stopped him.

"Iie, onii-chan, don't leave me alone, onegai."

Sesshoumaru pondered the request before slowly nodding his head, "Alright," regardless of his decision there was no way he could return to his room and sleep. Sesshoumaru pulled the covers back and laid down next to Inuyasha.

"Oyasuminasai, onii-chan."

"Oyasuminasai, Inuyasha."

You're so cold, but you feel alive  
Lay your hand on me one last time  
Show me how it ends it's all right  
Show me how defenseless you really are  
Satisfied and empty inside  
That's all right let's give this another try  
Breaking Benjamin – _So Cold_

Breaking Benjamin – 


	8. Chapter 6

As most of you will probably be able to tell, I wrote this entire chapter while listening to Something Corporate.

_Lying beside you  
Listening to you breathe  
The life that flows inside of you  
Burns inside of me  
Hold and speak to me  
Of love without a sound  
Tell me you will live through this  
And I will die for you  
Cast me not away  
Say you'll be with me  
For I know I cannot  
Bear it all alone_

Chapter 6

Ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous, ludicrous, loathsome even, as impossible as nonpoisonous carbon monoxide. Nonetheless, his father's words were bitingly frank, proving that the unexpected the undesired could occur and did occur, like the death of a star billions of light-years away. In his youth, an ironic word for a youkai to use, Sesshoumaru never thought that this day would occur, a demon barely into his prime coerced to take a mate. True, he knew that it was his duty to continue the family line for there was an unspeakable fear regarding Inuyasha's capability to do so, a fear that would only be laid to rest when Inuyasha took a mate, or the fear could be proven true.

Sesshoumaru rose from his seated position in the soft chair of his apartment, dreamless sleep eluded him, his traitorous psyche dredging up long buried memories, loathsome memories, memories that reminded him of his errors, irreversible damage. The predicament he faced served as a catalyst for the shameful actions, the promise he broke, the taint upon his honor, like blood staining pure white snow. The Tokyo sunset did little to soothe him, he doubted anything could ease the frustration, the worries gnawing on his mind the way a dog chews on its favorite bone. He checked the clock on the wall, a small gift from Rin two years earlier, and noted that it was not too late to pay a visit to her studio apartment, at least she could take the edge off his tension. However, he still felt the need to create a believable excuse to visit her, their relationship was strictly platonic after all. Sesshoumaru recalled their previous conversation, she mentioned something about working on a new painting of what he could not remember, but visiting her on the pretense of viewing its progress would hide his true motives.

Sesshoumaru walked out the door of his apartment, making sure he picked up his keys before he walked out, and headed towards the stairs-he was never partial to elevators. The rays of the setting sun reflected off the glass of the multi-paned windows in the tall skyscrapers and apartment buildings was almost blinding, rivaling the brilliance of sunlight reflected off the tranquil surface of a lake. As Sesshoumaru walked the familiar route to Rin's studio apartment the sounds of music mingled with the evening traffic and television shows created a rather undesirable potpourri of sounds. Fragmented conversations reached his sensitive ears, meaningless and unfamiliar voices droning on about mundane things, Sesshoumaru ignored it all until the words, "Johnny is no more," reached his ears. He had heard that story before, Rin told him the chemistry joke several years ago, "Johnny was a chemist, Johnny is no more, for what Johnny thought was H2O was actually H2SO4," Johnny drank sulfuric acid after mistaking it for water. After hearing that joke, Rin confessed to him, she never forgot the chemical formula for sulfuric acid and always remembered name a substance by appearance alone for many chemicals looked exactly the same. The memory brought a smirk to his lips, Rin's tales regarding her chemistry classes were always humorous, perhaps it was because that was all she ever chose to tell him, those happy days surrounded by classmates and learning about the complexity of the simplest compounds and the effects the smallest quantity of a chemical could have if dumped in a lake. However, these memories paled in comparison to her tales of the numerous art classes that she took throughout her life, how "the messier you get the more fun you're having" was a common phrase amongst the art students.

Soon Sesshoumaru found himself in front of Rin's front door, he hesitated silently questioning if his actions were truly justified if the reason he concocted for this evening visit truly made sense, wondered if he had erred in his judgement. He quickly shoved the thoughts aside, this was not the time for questioning and it was far too late for hi to turn and leave after arriving at this point, let Rin believe what she wanted he needed-no needed sounded far too dependant- he wished for a moments respite from the heinous situation into which he was thrust. He knocked on her door, noticing that the music of Something Corporate seeped through the apartment walls and into the halls, the way that the warmth of a cup of tea seeped into frozen fingers on a cold winter day.

_Close your eyes and I will be swimming  
Lullabies fill your room, and I will be singing  
Singing to only you  
Don't forget I'll hold your head  
Watch the night sky fading red_

"Sesshoumaru-kun," came Rin's surprised voice, "I didn't think that you would have returned so soon and why didn't you tell me that you'd be back today?" She stepped aside and ushered him into the apartment sputtering indignantly at his lack consideration, muttering that he should've called and then she could've gone to the Akabeko and picked something up.

_But as you sleep, and noone is listening  
I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking  
Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you,  
Soon I'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me_

Sesshoumaru ignored her questions and walked toward a canvas that was set up in the center of the room, "I see that you are already finished with your newest painting, Rin" he observed.

_In the car, the radio leaves me searching for your star  
A constellation of frustration driving hard  
Singing my thoughts back to me, and watching heartache on TV_

"Yes, Kurimoto-sama commissioned me to do a portrait of his youngest daughter who is turning sixteen this week, it is to be a birthday present for her, all it needs is to be framed. Sesshoumaru-kun does the music bother you because if it does I can turn it off or put something else on."

_But as you sleep, and no one is listening  
I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking  
Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you, soon I'll be leaving you  
But you won't be leaving me_

"Iie, the music is fine, Rin," he answered her mind and eyes focused elsewhere.

"Sesshoumaru-kun, daijoubu desuka?"

"Hai, daijoubu," Sesshoumaru answered while avoiding her eyes.

"Iie," she whispered standing in front of him and gazing into his eyes, "iie, you're not okay, Sesshoumaru-kun. I've never seen you act this way, you're not yourself. What's wrong Sesshoumaru-kun, please tell me what's wrong."

"It is none of your concern Rin."

_Don't forget I'll hold your head, watch the night sky fading red_

"This is where I disagree with you Sesshoumaru-kun, you're here in my apartment and I know you didn't come to stare at a portrait of a complete stranger, that is what makes it concern me. I am your friend Sesshoumaru, or do you not consider a ningen like me worthy of that?"

_  
But as you sleep, and no one is listening  
I will lift you off your feet, I'll keep you from sinking  
Don't you wake up yet, cause soon I'll be leaving you  
Soon I'll be leaving you, but you won't be leaving me_

Sesshoumaru turned his head away from he, his amber eyes gazing out the window seeing Tokyo at twilight. He did not answer her, mind twisting over words, explanations, everything but the truth, "My Father has issued me an ultimatum, I am to marry within one year or Inuyasha will become Father's only heir."

"Nani," Rin whispered in shock, "that is horribly unfair although I doubt it would be very hard for you to do. Just find a female youkai, woo her, marry her, I'm sure that you are acquainted with several unmarried youkai females.

"Iie," Sesshoumaru answered, "while I do know several female youkai I do not tolerate their presence, none of those females interest me."

"Oh come on Sesshoumaru, you must have at least one female friend. What about Kagura?"

"I would never marry Kagura, and contrary to what you believe Rin, I only have one female friend and that is you."

"I am not marrying you Sesshoumaru," Rin answered firmly.

Sesshoumaru gave her a short glare, "I was not asking you to Rin, I refuse to take a ningen as a mate." Sesshoumaru inwardly winced at the harshness of his voice, he knew why Rin refused to marry him, new the reasons extremely well. Once she married, forbidden was work, the only job available to her- that of house and home, that of raising children, a custom that was slow to change.

"This predicament, it is not the only thing that bothers you is it Sesshoumaru-kun, it's about Inuyasha isn't it."

"It-"

"It does concern me, Sesshoumaru-kun, Inuyasha is also my friend and I know he has no desire to take over your Father's business or usurp your power and status. What went wrong between the two of you?"

Sesshoumaru sighed, "It is a story that I have no desire to recall, it plagues me in my dreams haunts my waking hours, the memories constantly remind me of the mistakes I made.

By youkai standards, I was an adolescent, in ningen terms I was sixteen years old, old enough to attend the youkai social gatherings that Father held. Inuyasha, Inuyasha was still a child, a mere eight years old –in terms of a ningen's age of course- thus he was unable to attend these gatherings. These gatherings turned out to be my undoing, for it was there that I first heard the phrase "worthless hanyou," I was shocked to here it used and became angry when I realized they spoke of my otouto-san. However, I did not challenge these youkai for they were- are too influential and Father needs their support our business is to survive, that proved also to be a disastrous mistake. The more I heard the phrase and the reasons for it, the more I watched Izayoi and Inuyasha, the more sense it made, my mind, poisoned with these thoughts, scorned the humanity of my half-brother of my step-mother. I am ashamed to say this, but I broke a very important promise and I single-handedly destroyed the bond between Inuyasha and I, all for vanity and pride.

This is Inuyasha's best opportunity to take revenge for all the mental anguish I forced upon him, preventing me from finding a suitable mate, from marrying and assuming my place in the family business. If I lose my inheritance, if I lose my status he can enact a fitting revenge, I will receive what I gave unto him. Except the stigma of being a hanyou will not be upon me, however, everyone shall know that a hanyou bested me. Inuyasha probably loathes me enough to take advantage of this weakness of mine and destroy me, he is completely capable of doing it."

"Don't think so poorly of Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, it is beyond him to do something that heinous to you, I'm not saying he can't, I'm saying he won't. Not to you, you're still his otouto-san, you are that before anything else, and you know the saying "blood is thicker than water."

Sesshoumaru turned to look at Rin, "Your optimism overwhelms me, how can you be so sure that Inuyasha won't do this?"

"Do you know your brother so little? I always thought of you being brilliant Sesshoumaru-kun, but when it comes to matters of emotion and family you blunder around like a man in the dark."

"Rin I believe that you need to calm down, perhaps we ought to finish this conversation at a later date."

"I am completely calm Sesshoumaru-kun."

"Rin are you aware that you addressed me as _Sesshoumaru_, not Sesshoumaru-_kun_, not once but four times since I arrived?

A hot blush covered Rin's face turning not only her cheeks red but also her ears and neck, "I-I did? Sumimasen, Sesshoumaru-kun I didn't mean to, it won't happen again."

"Are you Rin? I'm not sure I am, don't worry about it though."

Rin mutely nodded her head before turning to look at her bookshelf along the wall and walked over to it.

"Father actually mentioned you as a possibility for a mate, it appears that Inuyasha mentioned you to him."

Rin turned around, a copy of Annie Dillard's _Pilgrim at Tinker Creek_ in her hand, "I believe you've read this book before, in American literature. Do you mind if I read a few excerpts of it aloud?" she asked, completely ignoring his previous comment and at Sesshoumaru's approval, she began to read.

"_What do we think of the created universe, spanning an unthinkable void with an unthinkable profusion of forms? Or what do we do we think of nothingness, those sickening reaches of time in either direction_?" Her voice soothed his frayed nerves and as she read the problems that plagued him faded, pushed into the darkest recesses of his mind. Truth be told he rather enjoyed her reading, it allowed him time to relax and question other things, things that did not trouble him personally. He remembered the book, remembered writing on it along with Henry David Thoreau's book _Walden_.

Time passed, the sky darkened, however, everything outside the studio apartment was irrelevant, like the silence in the other apartments was irrelevant, just like time was irrelevant. Occasionally Rin paused in her reading to drink from a glass of water before continuing, the even tone of her voice combined with exhaustion from the mental turmoil he endured over the past few days lulled him into a semi-conscious state. Eyes half-lidded and seated in an armchair Sesshoumaru barely registered the words she read, distantly he realized that he felt grateful for the mundane reading.

"I suppose we could, if we really needed to, if there was no other alternative," Rin whispered.

Her words startled Sesshoumaru, startled him out of his stupor and he gazed questioningly at her, "Do what Rin?"

She turned her head away, "Get married, if there was no alternative, if you can not find a youkai to take as your mate."

"No, Rin," she looked at him, "I can not ask you to sacrifice yourself and your happiness in such a way."

"You're my friend Sesshoumaru, I can't allow you to lose everything you've worked for because of some petty agreement your father made. I'd never forgive myself, knowing that I could've helped and Inuyasha wouldn't forgive me if he ever learned that I could've helped. Like it or not, Sesshoumaru he's your brother, he's family and he does care about you."

He felt grateful, reassured by her words overly optimistic as they were regarding Inuyasha, and too benevolent concerning her willingness to help him, regardless of consequence, "Thank you." He fervently hoped that he never accepted her offer, even if she wasn't a ningen, he found it dishonorable to use her in such a way and she was a ningen and that made it even worse.

_There was never any place  
For someone like me  
To be totally happy  
I'm running out of clock  
And that ain't a shock  
Some things never do change  
Never do change  
_Something Corporate – _Cavanaugh Park_

The song used in the chapter was _As You Sleep_ by Something Corporate


	9. Chapter 7

I can't honestly say that I'm happy with this chapter, I feel that Sesshoumaru is too out of character, but given the circumstances, living arrangements, and the enviroment he grew up in maybe I'm just worrying too much. Although I'd appreciate any comments or suggestions, I just might rewrite this chapter later.

_"You're not alone, are you?"  
"Never... Never."_

Chapter 7

_"We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course."  
_Arthur Golden - _Memoirs of a Geisha_

Sesshoumaru walked into his apartment and promptly collapsed on the couch, not bothering to walk to his bedroom where a large soft bed was located; there was not any energy left to spare for that. For the past two months, not two weeks, two months he spent his time reacquainting himself with several of the female youkai that he knew, hoping to find a suitable mate. Finding a youkai was not the problem; the problem was finding one he tolerated: a youkai not obsessed with herself, beautiful, well cultured, graceful, well mannered, and interesting to converse with, these qualities he looked for in vain. Rin often told him that he wished for too much, expected too much, and he ought to marry a porcelain doll with recorded messages if he really wanted all that in a mate, however, a porcelain doll could not provide heirs. Sesshoumaru groaned inwardly, he spent far too much time with Rin; it was unhealthy for his mind and pride as proven by the thoughts running through his mind and the previous comment, a porcelain doll indeed - she ought to know that porcelain was too cold and recorded messages grew old.

'_Honestly Sesshoumaru-kun that hubris of yours will lead to your downfall one of these days maybe you should join Hubris Anonymous, I hear that the program is exceptional.'_

Sesshoumaru snorted, there was nothing wrong with having hubris so long as he knew when to ignore his pride, and honestly Rin overreacted far too much. Every time one of his escapades failed she constantly reassured him that perhaps the next one or the one after, reminding him not to lose hope and offering suggestions-unwanted derogatory comments as well. He ought to call her, to inform her how disastrous his afternoon was, how another attempt at "wooing" a youkai blew up in his face, and how another piece of his pride was stripped from him-although she might divest him of his remaining pride if he told her everything. Sesshoumaru decided that, at the moment, the call was unimportant, besides he barely had the strength to keep his eyes open let alone walk towards the coffee table, pick up his cell phone, dial Rin's number and keep his wits about him as he ticked off the day's events. Besides, he thought, Rin did not need to know everything that occurred in his life, she didn't even ask him to tell of his day, she merely made comments that he sounded tired, and then he revealed everything. At this Sesshoumaru sat up, all vestiges of fatigue vanished; the revelation startled him it was impossible inconceivable-he bared his soul to a ningen; he willingly told a ningen his problems and felt no regrets over it. Sesshoumaru fell against the couch, his contemplations drained him of his remaining strength and he prayed to whatever gods above for a dreamless sleep and for sleep to overcome him quickly-his mind jumbled.

Evidently the gods pitied the exhausted inu youkai and sleep overcame him like an ocean wave, and it was a dream filled sleep- filled with dreams that disappeared as he awoke forgotten and erased from his memories. Sesshoumaru's cell phone rang; he recognized the ring tone as the one set for his Father, Sesshoumaru answered the phone quickly all the time wondering the motive behind the sudden call.

"Moshimoshi," Sesshoumaru said.

"Konnichiwa, Sesshoumaru," came the voice of Inutaisho.

"Konnichiwa Father, to what do I owe this sudden call?"

"I heard about your recent interest in female youkai, it appears that many of my business partners also noticed the sudden change in your interests towards their daughters and friends' daughters. Given the amount of reports I received, I take it that the search is not going as well as you like. May I suggest that you also pay attention to the female ningens and not just the female youkai, it may be that the mate you seek is amongst the ningens."

"Your concern overwhelms me, Father, however the advice you gave me is unneeded and undesired I refuse to mate a ningen, I will not deign myself in such a way. I refuse to make the same mistake that you did, I will marry a youkai for no ningen is worthy of my company."

"Not even your artistic friend Rin, who might I add is also a ningen, is she unworthy as well? You are a hypocrite my son, listen to yourself speaking so condescendingly about ningens and yet your best friend is a ningen. I sometimes I pity the girl, for she cares about you-someone not deserving of such attention from someone as pure and benevolent as her," at this Inutaisho hung up on his eldest son, not bothering to say goodbye.

Sesshoumaru stared at his cell phone, his Father's final words, disapproving, echoing in his head, turning, twisting, turning, and circling him as predators circle their prey. He sighed and dialed Rin's number; half hoping that she wouldn't answer his guilty conscience snapping at him, telling him that his father spoke the truth-he was a hypocrite.

"Moshimoshi," came Rin's sleepy voice and this alarmed Sesshoumaru. Rin never slept during the day, perhaps she was ill, or perhaps -whispered the treacherous side of his mind- perhaps she did not spend the night at her apartment perhaps she spent it in the company of someone other than him.

"Konnichiwa, Rin, I am sorry to have disturbed you, genki desu ka?"

"It's nothing important Sesshoumaru-kun," replied Rin with a vociferous yawn, "and it's rather embarrassing really," she mumbled something incoherent.

"What is really embarrassing Rin?"

"I stayed up all night working on a project; I couldn't bring myself to stop. Besides, you don't sound to energetic," she yawned once more, "yourself, are you okay?"

"Nothing more than experiencing another afternoon with another insane female youkai, at this rate I will know the flaws of every eligible female youkai in Japan, and soon travel to Europe to interview the youkai there."

Rin laughed, mimicking the sound of tinkling bells, "That bad, are you sure you're not exaggerating by any chance Sesshoumaru-kun? Don't give up, I'm sure the love of your life is around here somewhere, its just finding her that you need to worry about and of course if she's betrothed to anyone you'd be in a terrible mess."

"Thank you for your support," Sesshoumaru muttered tightly, "and maybe the love of my life, as you so romantically put it, does not exist or maybe she does exist - in dreams."

"Oh come on Sesshoumaru-kun," another yawn, "don't be so pessimistic, honestly how can you hope to attract a female if you surround yourself in gloom, any female that tolerates your gloominess is an anomaly. Wait, I tolerate your gloominess, ignore everything I just said about being an anomaly, I'll think up another word to describe it later."

Perhaps it was the strain and mental exhaustion he felt but whatever the cause Sesshoumaru laughed, a true laugh, at Rin, tired did not begin to describe her at the moment, obviously she was dead on her feet her comments proved that.

"Sesshoumaru-kun are you laughing?" Rin asked her voice panicked, "Who are you and what have you done to the real Sesshoumaru and why are you calling me I don't have enough money to pay ransom for him, wait that makes no sense he's an inu youkai he can defend himself. SESSHOUMARU-KUN!"

Sesshoumaru finally composed himself enough to calm the distressed Rin, "Calm down Rin, I'm right here and I wasn't kidnapped, attacked or possessed by anything. Perhaps, I ought to let you go to bed and sleep and call you when you're more alert and able to think properly," amusement leaked through his words.

"I think that I agree with you," she yawned, "and don't you scare me like that, I thought that maybe my mind took a one-way trip to insanity."

"I'll call you back later. Good-bye."

"Bye."

_"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them."  
_Jane Austen

"Please tell me that you're kidding, I did not honestly say that over the phone," Rin whispered obviously horrified as she looked up from her piece of scratchboard.

"You do not remember, Rin" Sesshoumaru asked an amused smirk on his pale face.

"I only remember vague details from our conversation, things like "insane female youkai," anomalies, you, just meaningless fragments."

"Do you honestly believe that I am joking about what you told me over the phone?"

"Normally I'd say of course, but knowing you as well as I do I must admit that the probability of that is one in infinity. Does that answer your question, Sesshoumaru-kun?" Rin looked at him and continued before he answered, "It's getting close to noon, feel like going to the Akabeko for lunch and then wandering around Tokyo, maybe hit a couple of bookstores and art stores, it'll be my treat."

Sesshoumaru contemplated her offer, true he felt no desire to go to an art store with all the smells of acrylic, oil, and tempera paint as well as the paper and inks all merged together to forma pungent odor that seeped into his clothes and encased him like a cloud. However, the prospect of eating at the Akabeko did outweigh the horrible idea of an art store, and she did mention bookstores, "Very well Rin, let us go to the Akaeko."

The two walked down the sidewalk in amiable silence, to any other person walking down the street the silence might easily be mistaken for resentment emitting from the male due to some heartless action or words the petite female beside did or said. Sesshoumaru did not enjoy walking down the streets due to the fact that his senses where overwhelmed by the stench of car exhaust, cigarette smoke, perfumes, body lotions, soaps, shampoos, honking horns, a tasteless medley of music from various sources and the ningens themselves. Rin was unquestionably lucky, he decide because her ningen senses where not as brutalized as his by the normal "hustle and bustle" of living in a large city, and for that he felt the slightest twinge of envy but quickly stamped the feeling out. Honestly, he mentally reprimanded himself, feeling jealousy over a ningen the notion was ludicrous, degrading, and abhorrent to his youkai and all of his kind, ancestors long deceased included. Rin's excited voice and sudden movement, "Kagome-chan! Inuyasha-kun!" tore Sesshoumaru from his inner musings. Sesshoumaru gazed in Rin's direction and saw that it was indeed his worthless hanyou half-brother, and the raven-haired miko he always spent his time with and Sesshoumaru inwardly believed that Inuyasha was in love with the ningen and felt surprised that it did not repulse him. Both parties exchanged pleasantries, rather Rin greeted both Kagome and Inuyasha who returned her greetings while Sesshoumaru stood silently off to the side and Inuyasha glared at him, but said nothing he didn't dare pick a fight with his brother under Kagome's watchful eye and in Rin's presence.

The truth of the matter was that, Inuyasha liked Rin, a talented artist and a good friend, he respected her not only because of that but also because she managed to garner Sesshoumaru's attention and empathy, a truly amazing feat. If Rin was able to tolerate Sesshoumaru, then Inuyasha knew that he was capable of spending time with his brother but it did not mean he needed to enjoy that time. The former duo, now a quartet continued walking to the Akabeko, after both Rin and Kagome decided to spend the day together rather than in separate groups, Inuyasha knew better than to argue with Kagome and Sesshoumaru did not want to upset Rin by abruptly leaving her. Inuyasha felt unsure of his control over his irritation and resentment laced with hurt, fearing that it might not endure eating a meal with his older brother, given their close proximity- much smaller normal, whenever coerced to spend time in each others presence. However, regardless of his apathy towards Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha knew better than to lose control over his emotions, this was not the time nor the place nor the proper company to display such emotions and he never started fight with Sesshoumaru in Rin's presence, one of their unspoken agreements. What ludicrous notion caused Rin to extend an invitation of friendship to Sesshoumaru of all youkai of ningens he did not know just as he did not know what caused Sesshoumaru to accept her invitation and spend so much time cultivating a lasting bond of friendship with her. Inuyasha felt perplexed by his brother's actions, he knew that Sesshoumaru did not act on mere whims, he knew that Sesshoumaru loathed all ningens and yet here he was spending time with one and actually enjoying her presence, it was mind boggling. Nevertheless, he knew not to question Sesshoumaru's actions, however, if Sesshoumaru ever hurt Rin's feelings Inuyasha vowed to extract retribution for every tear that fell from her eyes, although he suspected that both Kouga and Miroku felt the same way- not to mention Sango, Ayame and of course Kagome. Yes, Inuyasha thought, there was no doubt in his mind that Sesshoumaru knew that escaping unscathed from all of them combined was nearly impossible (and no doubt with Father's anger added to the fray), it served as assurance that Rin's emotions were safe. Inuyasha sat down next to Kagome at the low wooden table inside the Akabeko, unfortunately Sesshoumaru sat directly across from him and next to him sat Rin, right then and there Inuyasha decided that the day not just the meal was lost- he hoped this sadistic torture ended soon.

"- necrophiliac," Rin told Kagome jarring Inuyasha from his contemplations regarding the inner workings of Sesshoumaru's mind.

"WHOAH! Hang on, I totally came in at the wrong part of that conversation and I don't think that I want to know what was said, might give me nightmares or cause me to lose my appetite. Must you two discuss such degenerate topics before I eat?"

"Cause heaven forbid you lose your appetite Inuyasha, that is indisputably the worst thing that might ever happen," Kagome muttered sarcastically.

"Glad to know you and I are on the same page, wench, next time think before you speak- that's why you got a brain."

"Inuyasha," Kagome growled as Sesshoumaru raised a delicate eyebrow amused at his brother's ignorance and stupidity, "you are insufferable. Why don't you just shut up."

"Inuyasha, perhaps you ought to listen to your woman and shut your mouth before she attempts to inflict physical injury upon you, and of course I will not meddle -merely observe," Sesshoumaru said a smirk on his pale face.

Inuyasha glared at Sesshoumaru, his cheeks tinged pink at the fact that Sesshoumaru called Kagome _his woman_, "She's not my woman Sesshoumaru so don't call her that. You honestly think I'd choose this nagger as my mate?"

Kagome stared at Inuyasha eyes wide and glassy, Sesshoumaru noticed the brackish sent of tears coming from her, obviously the ningen harbored feelings for his idiotic and tactless brother, and Inuyasha being an idiot hurt her feelings in attempting to mask his own. The ningen sniffed, her bottom lip trembled and Sesshoumaru watched the horror and guilt slowly crept into Inuyasha's eyes as he realized the callousness of his actions and then came the pain as Kagome whispered Inuyasha's name. Sesshoumaru shook his head disdainfully at his brother, "Tactless," he said and the dam broke Kagome jumped up from the table and ran off while Inuyasha stared after her. "Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru began, "Are you going to sit there staring after her like a whipped pup or are you going to go apologize to her and tell her your true emotions, for if you are willing to hurt her like that then you do not deserve her."

Inuyasha almost turned to glare at Sesshoumaru but instead he looked at the place were Kagome once sat and stood up and jogged in the direction he saw her run, not sparing the final two occupants of the table.

"Ano, Sesshoumaru-kun," Rin began uncertainly while staring at Inuyasha's retreating form, "do you think that we ought to follow Inuyasha-kun, he does not make the clearest apologies."

"Iie," Rin stared at hi in shock, "I told Inuyasha that I would not interfere, and I shall not interefere with such a trivial matter, he needs to learn and this will sere as a valuable lesson for him, perhaps he will not make the same mistake again."

"All right, Sesshoumaru-kun, if your sure that Inuyasha is capable of handling this situation I will trust your judgment even if I do not share your confidence."

"I never said Inuyasha was capable of handling the situation, I merely stated that it is better that we not interfere if Inuyasha is to learn this lesson properly, one cannot continue to run behind him and clean up all his mistakes." At Rin's uncertain stare he added, "I understand that she is your friend and that you can not tolerate her being hurt but given the nature of her," he paused, "her _relationship_ with Inuyasha I am sure that any attempts at apologizing that he makes will suffice to quell her anger and pain."

"Perhaps Sesshoumaru-kun, perhaps, but I still don't feel right just sitting her and waiting for them to return-if they return that is."

"They will return, Rin, perish the thoughts from your head, the matter is between them ad not us, and it is better to remain neutral in situations such as this."

"Hai," she reluctantly agreed.

Their food arrived but neither Inuyasha nor Kagome returned from their excursion, and Rin grew more worried as the time passed and started to fidget.

"Calm yourself Rin," Sesshoumaru remarked while he picked up his chopsticks, "they are coming now."

Rin looked up and saw that he spoke the truth, both Inuyasha and Kagome were coming towards them, Kagome's eyes were read and puffy from crying and Inuyasha appeared much more subdued than before. The four ate their meal in relative silence, Inuyasha and Kagome avoiding each others eyes-obviously things still remained unsaid between the two, that or they were too embarrassed to look at each other. Rin fervently hoped it was the latter, and that Sesshoumaru was right in believing that Inuyasha and Kagome were capable of fixing their own problems, however, she still felt the slightest twinge of doubt. As the day progressed, however, Inuyasha and Kagome relaxed and soon fall back into their companionable ways, the occasional arguments, random comments occasional rebukes and infectious laughter and exasperation. The group went to the bookstore where both Sesshoumaru and Rin bought several new books while Kagome perused the shelves and Inuyasha fought off immense boredom by reading manga. The art store was also visited, however, Inuyasha as Sesshoumaru made a point of crossing the street and gazing at the shop window directly across from it to avoid entering the store filled with the most repulsive array of scents. Rin bought several bags of supplies while Kagome merely bought a new sketchbook and a new set of compressed graphite sticks as well as a set of assorted sketching crayons. Sesshoumaru, noticing that the bags probably weighed a hefty amount took several of the bags out of Rin's hands and carried them for her while they continued to spend the day wandering around Tokyo, all the while admonishing himself from neglecting his duties to his Father's business (even though there was someone taking over his duties while he was gone) and vowing to return home and work, soon.

_"Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?"  
_Jane Austen

Sesshoumaru recognized the scent before he heard the knock on his apartment door; instantly he felt the bloodlust enter his veins-hanyou his mind whispered filthy hanyou but another long-buried part whispered aniki in a subdued voice. He answered the door fully intending on sending Inuyasha back to the street by any means necessary, even if it meant throwing him out a window or down the stairs, the uneasy truce between them only applied to when they were in Rin's presence (or Father's) and most certainly did not apply in _his_ apartment.

"Listen, Sesshoumaru, before you try to throw me out we need to talk-about Rin, more specifically your relationship with her."

"My _relationship_, as you put it, with Rin is none of your concern and it is strictly platonic- which is more than I can say for you and that ningen who reeks of miko."

"Bullshit, Sesshoumaru, that's bullshit and you know it. You constantly antagonize me for associating myself with ningens, for being a hanyou, for having a human mother, you say that you will never deign yourself to my level-befriending ningens. And yet here you are having a relationship with a ningen, an enviable camaraderie that happened almost effortlessly. Damn it, Sesshoumaru, you even humor her! Any demon who saw the two of you together might event think that you held a great affection for her, much greater than that of mere friends. You protect her, indulge her, hellFather even thinks you hold some degree of love for her. To what extent I have no idea, but its evident that these feelings are deeper than that of a _platonic relationship_."

"What I do or do not do to Rin is none of your concern, Inuyasha, as is who I choose to befriend."

"Look, Sesshoumaru, I've got no desire to take your place in Father's company-we both know how incapable I'd be at managing it, just as we both know that you need to find a mate and soon. I know you've been looking at female youkai, and I know none of them are what you are looking for, stop being do condescending towards ningens, you tolerate Rin well enough."

"I will not mate Rin."

Inuyasha glared at Sesshoumaru, "And I don't want you to, neither does anyone else. Rin deserves someone who'll love her, someone who'll take care of her, not someone who just wants to marry her so he won't lose his inheritance. She deserves someone better than you. Hell, even if you do love her, you'd never let her know would you? You'd keep treating her indifferently or just like a friend even if you two were mated and that would hurt her more. Your so damn stubborn and so caught up in your bigotry that you'd refuse to acknowledge the best thing that ever happened to you, just because of your damned pride and reputation. I know Rin probably offered to become your mate, she cares about you enough to sacrifice herself in that way, but I don't want you taking her up on that offer unless you truly see her more than a means to an end."

"I told her no, Inuyasha, I would never use her in such a dishonorable way and I see her as much more than a means to an end."

"But you'd use a female youkai in such a way that alone speaks volumes Sesshoumaru, listen to yourself, you value Rin much more than you value a female youkai. You care about her Sesshoumaru."

"I do not love her."

"I never said you did, but you'd say that even if you did, you've probably told yourself over and over that you merely care about her as a friend and nothing more because you'd rather lie to yourself than admit that you've fallen in love with a ningen. If you have no other choice, if you exhaust all of your other options, if –and only if- Rin is still willing to have you I won't stand in your way of mating her but mark my words Sesshoumaru if you hurt her, make her miserable, or cast her aside I will take great pleasure I killing you. Of course I'd have to stand in like 'cause Miroku, Kouga, Ayame, Sango, Kagura, not to mention Kagome would also be after your head."

Sesshoumaru merely nodded at Inuyasha, he did not doubt the veracity his words and said, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Inuyasha nodded and turned to leave, "Good."

_And if this is what it takes  
just to lie with my mistakes  
and live with what I did to you  
All the hell I put you through  
I always catch the clock it's 11:11  
And now you want to talk  
it's not hard to dream  
You'll always be my Konstantine  
My Konstantine _

They'll never hurt you like I do  
No, They'll never hurt you like I do  
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head  
with all the pretty things she did  
Hey, You know you keep me up in bed  
It's to a girl who got into my head  
with all these fucked up things I did

Something Corporate – _Konstantine 2001 _(_Welcome to the Family Version_)

Sketching crayons- they're not really crayons in the normal sense of the word- don't think Crayola crayons or stuff like that, they're actually a lot like the compressed graphite sticks but in varying degrees of color the only difference aside from the colors is that normally they don't smear as well but that's what colorless blenders are for I guess


	10. Chapter 8

This chapter was originally intended to be chapter seven however, I fell behind in chapter six and so now it is chapter eight. I'm afraid that this one more or less focuses on the "present" when Sesshoumaru has already mated Rin and only flashes back to the past a few times in the entire chapter. The rest of the story will continue in the present with a few allusions to the past but no flashbacks.

_Can't fight it all away  
__Can't hope it all away  
__Can't scream it all away  
__It just won't fade away, No_

Chapter 8

Months passed since Inuyasha's discussion with Sesshoumaru, and the more time that passed the more nervous Sesshoumaru became because he was still futilely searching for a mate. He found himself in Rin's apartment once again watching her paint a still life of fruits with oil paints, with the glass doors leading to the balcony open of course to aid with ventilation. He sat as close to the open doors as possible, avoiding the smell of paint while still maintaining optimum visibility of her work as he peered over her shoulder, an easy task considering the fact that she was shorter than him by almost a foot.

"You know what you need Sesshoumaru-kun," she suddenly began, "a vacation, time to get away from this insane search of a mate and relax for a while."

Sesshoumaru inwardly scoffed at the idea, "Rin, you know as well as I that my time is limited I have no time to indulge in insipid activities, no leisure time."

"True, nevertheless, if you continue your search in a state of agitation you won't think clearly and your judgement might end up skewed, and that is a disastrous combination. Besides, _Fluffy_, just because you're a full blooded inu youkai does not mean that you don't also need to rest."

He growled at her, "I am not _Fluffy_."

She turned to look at him, smirking, "Your fur pelt denotes otherwise. Come on Sesshoumaru-kun, lighten up, take a deep breath, step back and evaluate your life, go to the beach, do something."

"The beach?" he asked with while arching an eyebrow.

"The Boso-hanto Peninsula, remember it's the land mass that contains Minami Chikura Beach and Setohama Beach not to mention Shira-hama Beach and Onjuku Beach."

"I know what beaches lie on the peninsula, Rin, however I still refuse to go."

"Sesshoumaru-kun, you need a break, and you're getting out of this city for some personal relaxation time even if I have to tie you up, drag you out to the beach, and drop you on the sand myself."

"You lack the strength to sedate me, Rin."

"I give up! Fine, wear yourself out, it's your mind and body."

"My well-being worries you this much Rin?"

"I told you once before Sesshoumaru-kun, you're my friend therefore, I'm supposed to care about your well being."

"Very well, I shall indulge you this once for I believe that the idea has merit," he replied after contemplating her words and pretended not to hear her snort of disbelief and her mutterings, merit indeed.

---

There was something almost soothing about the way the waves' ebb and flow, peaceful almost due to the fact that the season for traveling to the beach was over, the water far too cold. Sesshoumaru understood why Rin recommended he traverse here, the difference between the vast and serene ocean compared to the constant motion of Tokyo with its blinding lights, posters, traffic, and cramped spaces left little to chose between. The ocean was something he'd almost forgotten, the quite roar, and the brackish smell of the water, the soft moist sand and the white of the sea foam. He was an inu youkai, and he needed nature to some extent, he needed to be near to it as all youkai needed to be near to nature, to step away from the concrete and mortar that encased much of the world, they needed it to survive. Unlike ningens, youkai felt a stronger connection to nature, some youkai such as the Tenrai Youkai, who embodied an element of nature-thunder and lightning- needed to feel the earth and breathe pure air more than other youkai. Rin was correct in her assumption that being near to the water and all things associated with the ocean was enough to ease his agitated mind, he felt something akin to loathing that she noticed his weakness so easily. He continued to gaze at the expansion of water spread out before him, the sun was setting casting orange, gold, pink, violet, and red tints of color in the water and in the sky, it was pretty picture. He pictured Rin standing before him with her canvas set up in the sand painting the image before her with great ardor, oblivious to her surroundings her mind focused on the task at hand.

Sesshoumaru sighed, four months, that was all the time that remained for his search and it proved harder and harder to find a female youkai as time passed, perhaps Rin was correct in stating that he expected too much, however, he didn't want to loathe his chosen mate.

----

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and stared at the white ceiling above him, by the sounds coming from the outdoors dawn was fast approaching and he wondered when he fell asleep, it was a surprising revelation and for some reason he felt that something was out of place. There was warm breathe on his skin, an arm draped across his torso, a familiar weight on his shoulder, and an unfamiliar weight on his leg, evidently Rin shifted during her sleep, he turned his head to look at her and noticed that sometime during the night she kicked the covers of the bed-this was not unusual she'd done it many nights during the earlier stages of her illness- however he was unprepared to see that her gown was bunched up around her thighs exposing the majority of her legs and that one of them was draped casually over his own. That explained the unfamiliar weight, and as Sesshoumaru contemplated the easiest method of disentangling himself from his mate without waking her he realized what was wrong, Rin's scent changed sometime during the night. Cursing inwardly he moved slowly out of the bed -Rin moving slightly at the sudden loss of warmth- picked up the comforter from the floor and covered Rin with it tucking it around her shoulders, making her decent for when Jaken arrived with her breakfast later that morning. He cursed inwardly again; he'd been a fool, her illness preoccupying him so much that he forgot an important date forgot that her moon time approached. He never spent time with Rin during her the days before her monthly flux nor the days that followed immediately after it, he knew it was her most fertile time and his weakest time-the change in her scent appealed to his youkai blood-to the basic primal drives and the fact that she was his mate did little to sedate him. He needed to control his actions for he bore no desire to sire worthless hanyou such as Inuyasha, however, the resolve was difficult to maintain during this time. The more animalistic part of his mind screamed that she was his mate and that it was his right to take her, to claim her, however the rational part managed to keep this unwanted side under wraps.

He married Rin, however, while it was little better than an arranged marriage it still was not a marriage of convenience for it only suited his needs not hers, his decision bordered shameful, he decided to chose her as his mate because there were no other options because his time was limited. In order to sedate his guilt he allowed Rin to make all the decisions regarding their wedding, however she wanted a small traditional Shinto wedding that only included close friends and family as guests, that was impossible due to his family's status and his position in the business world. An agreement was reached, two wedding ceremonies took place, a large western style wedding for the everyone who knew him and his family to attend, including business partners, and countless youkai acquaintances. A smaller Shinto wedding ceremony included only immediate family and close friends, and Rin looked happier in her crimson silk kimono embroidered with heron and reeds with its green and gold obi than in the white western-style gown. Despite common belief, that he'd bedded a human, he never divulged the truth of their situation to anyone (excluding Jaken) and he knew Rin well enough to assume her confidence as well, their marriage remained unconsummated. They slept in the same bed, lived in the same home, but he never touched infringed upon her honor, he'd wounded it enough by thrusting her into a loveless marriage. A marriage without children, however, Sesshoumaru was loathed to admit that if his Father ever interrogated him on the conspicuous absence of an heir his resolve might not withstand it. Even so, it did not matter what he felt, the fact that an heir was needed never escaped Rin's notice and she knew that their wedding night was quite unorthodox.

---

Sesshoumaru unlocked the door to his family's estate on the shores of the Sea of Japan. It was the former home of the Lords of the Western Lands but due to the change in society it transformed into a vacation home of sorts. His father was somewhat depressed to see the ancient and noble compound destroyed, the shoji doors ripped and the tatami floor mats burned but insisted that it must be done for modernization. Lord of the Western Lands, that ought to have been his title but in modern society that title was an empty one. He noticed that Rin was enamored with the estate from the beginning and it was apparent to him that she loved the ocean, something about the continuous ebbing and flowing of the waves mesmerized her soothed her as it soothed him. After the initial shock of seeing the two story home wore off, she'd never seen a home that large and with so much terrain, land was sparse in Japan and in Tokyo empty space was a luxury very few obtained. He was lucky, due to his families connections Inutaisho found and rented one of the few apartments in Tokyo that provided Sesshoumaru with adequate living space, the apartment was spacious and Rin's entire studio apartment measuring 350 square feet easily fit within it. Their wedding drew to a close several hours earlier, much of that time was spent driving to the estate, and he noticed that for the first time since they'd met Rin was uncomfortable around him, the change in her scent alerted him to the fact. Sesshoumaru stepped into the foyer and looked around the small room and at the staircase that led up to the second floor; Inuyasha and his friends spent the days before insuring that the estate was suitable inhabitation, it was evident due to the lingering scents inside the house. It did not take much to finish the preparations, merely a trip to the grocery store to pick up food and other household necessities, some cleaning of the oriental rugs and hardwood floors and dusting of several surfaces. Sesshoumaru walked out of the foyer, bypassed the staircase walked through the breakfast room and into the informal living room - family room, anther empty title, there was never a time when the entire family leisurely passed their time in this _place_, Sesshoumaru repudiated to acknowledge the estate as a home. No, he was wrong there were a few times when Inuyasha was young that he, Inutaisho, Izayoi, and Inuyasha had spent holidays here, but during the majority of that time, Sesshoumaru watched over Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru inwardly seethed at the recollection of the year Inuyasha started teething, just because Inuyasha was only half _inu_ youkai did not mean that there was not any inu in him, Sesshoumaru was the unfortunate victim of losing many shoes at the hands -or rather the mouth and teeth- of Inuyasha. However, Inuyasha did not stop at only the shoes, no that was much too kind and considerate, Inuyasha also gnawed at his beautiful white fur pelt which denoted his status a taiyoukai and as an inu youkai.

"Sesshoumaru, daijoubu desu ka? You seem to be angry about something, what is it?" The pungent odor of her fear compelled him into answering, the smell of fear was not something he was unaccustomed to, but he never wanted such a repulsive scent to permeate from her.

"It is nothing Rin, I was merely remembering Inuyasha as a pup, a teething pup," at his quiet remark the smell almost dissipated completely, instead it was smothered with the light scent of amusement tinged with undertones of uncertainty.

He turned to look at Rin and saw her mischievous smile, "Really, I understand now, but did you not teethe at one point as well? I am sure that your father knows exactly what you felt for Inuyasha."

Against his will Sesshoumaru felt his face growing warm, he quickly turned his face so that Rin was unable to see his unbecoming blush. How she managed to do it he was unsure but she was always the voice of reason when he told her of his antipathy regarding Inuyasha. Conversely, she also took great pleasure in embarrassing him whenever the opportunity presented itself, rare as it was it also caused him to grudgingly accept the fact that she possessed some type of leash on him because he permitted her to do as she pleased with him. Within reason of course, and she normally treated him the respect his dignity and pride deserved, except in times such as these. Sesshoumaru repressed a growl at Rin's impudence, he tolerated her audacious comments for far too long, and she now felt that she was entitled to give him her opinion regardless of what it did to his pride. It was bad enough that she occasionally addressed him as "_Fluffy_" but now she said that he and Inuyasha were exactly alike, heinous. Vivacious creature that she was, not to mention that she was also a sanguine, there was not much that he could do to sway her wayward mannerism, still it galled a little that she took such liberties with him. He was not some pet that she kept merely to amuse her one that "sat" on command, played fetch, and rolled over merely for a dog treat, and he vowed to teach her to treat him with the dignity he deserved and not to continue insulting his vanity. However, Sesshoumaru grudgingly admitted to himself that the notion was unfounded and that he'd no sooner cut off one of his own limbs than attempt to alter Rin's personality, because it was her personality that so endeared her to him.

Her light laughter resonated in his ears, "Am I embarrassing you, _Fluffy_? I'm so sorry if I dredge up uncomfortable memories, but might I say that you look extremely kawaii with that blush spread across your cheeks, it reminds me of a little four year old who has just seen a girl he likes."

This time Sesshoumaru was unable to restrain himself, he growled at her, and one long fang slipped out his mouth, "Do not address me as Fluffy, you know I hate it when you call me that because it is demeaning, degrading, tactless, gaudy, it is all of those things and more."

Rin did not answer him, just smiled, and continued to survey the family room, Sesshoumaru felt something akin to regret for not bringing her to this place sooner. However, a yawn from Rin brought him out of his reverie, it was a taxing day and she was no doubt tired since her fragile ningen body was not as accustomed to such a exertion. He slowly turned around and returned to the foyer, heading for the stairs he began to ascend them making sure that Rin was following him, it would do no good to have her get lost on the way to his-their room. As he continued his steady climb up the stairs the pungent odor that pestered him since their arrival at the estate returned full force, what caused her to behave in this manner bothered him, but he refused to question her. The second floor consisted of five bedrooms and four bathrooms as well as a small upstairs room that was more of a landing than anything else for the staircase led directly to it.

Sesshoumaru pointed to the door on his right and turned to look at Rin, "The Master Suite is right there, the master bath will be to your right and the closet to your left, go to sleep you need your rest. I'll be in the den finishing some paperwork." With that he turned and walked down the stairs back to the first floor of the estate, ignoring the confused look that crossed Rin's face. It was that look that clarified the reason for Rin's uneasiness, she was worried about the accursed wedding night, Sesshoumaru decided that he'd let her sleep and explain the facts to her in the morning.

---

Sesshoumaru walked into the closet and picked up a change of clothes, and readied himself for the day taking care to remain quite less he woke Rin, he walked out of the bedroom and went in search of Jaken.

"Milord Sesshoumaru is something the matter?"

"Indeed there is Jaken," Sesshoumaru answered, "I need you to watch over Rin while I am gone, for it appears that it is her moon time once again. When you take her breakfast to her inform her of my departure. If I return to find that she has had a relapse in her health, I will kill you Jaken."

"Understood, milord."

Time passed and soon Rin was well once more, although Jaken insisted that she not overexert herself, for her body was still quite weak and he feared his lord's anger, for if she became ill once more then without a doubt Sesshoumaru would blame Jaken.

Sesshoumaru returned from a business meeting to find Rin in the garden staring at a sheet of paper set up on her easel on which a line had been drawn and erased several times, as he approached he saw Rin redraw the line and erase it once again not acknowledging the bit of the brown wood of the easel that peaked out through the paper. This uncharacteristic behavior worried him more than when she was ill and as he approached her he noticed that her eyes were unfocused staring off into space a look of regret on her face.

"Rin, daijoubu desu ka?"

She jumped at his voice before hurriedly turning around to look at him, "Hai, daijoubu." He stared at her, not believing her words and watched her shift uncomfortably before she opened her mouth to speak once more, "Kagome-chan came to see me today, to give me a bit of," she struggled for words," good news, she is with child-you're going to be an Uncle, Sesshoumaru."

The news startled Sesshoumaru, he knew that Inuyasha married the young woman two years ago, one year after he married Rin, but everyone saw their marriage as an experiment. Inuyasha was one of the few hanyou that managed to survive into adulthood and the only hanyou who managed to find a mate, well the only hanyou that they knew of, and noone knew if he if he was capable of producing an heir-now they knew.

"It appears that something new is being learned everyday, doesn't it Sesshoumaru. I know what the general fear with hanyous was the possibility of them being sterile, just like when you crossbreed different animals of the same family but different species the offspring normally turns out to be sterile. It appears that ningens and youkai are related enough that they can produce a non-sterile offspring, I guess that the only real difference between the two species-ignoring the obvious fact that youkai are more powerful and their senses are better evolved- is the fact that demons age much slower than humans. But Sesshoumaru, we both know that aging is a disease, when the caps on the chromosomes of the DNA begin to unravel causing the DNA to deteriorate when the cells divide, making the cells appear to be older. In youkai, the caps unravel at a much slower rate due to some chemicals naturally produced by the body, we both also know that scientists have found ways to stop the cap from unraveling and within the next few years humans can live to be one-hundred and fifty years old-"

"And still look like they're thirty," Sesshoumaru finished for her. "I know, and the fact that youkai are more attuned to the five main senses is inaccurate, ningens have a very good sensory system however in order to use them they must concentrate on one particular sense, youkai however do it subconsciously-its an automated internal mechanism, similar to breathing. We just don't think about it. I know, soon ningens will also have the same life span of youkai, and the only things that will separate us is the-" here Rin interrupted him.

"The fact that youkai are more attuned to nature, more attuned to the elements they embody the strengths of nature such as wind, thunder, lightning, snow, and a various array of animals. They've adapted to the environment better than ningens, are more inclined to follow their primal drives-survival of the fittest and that type of thing. However, youkai reproduce to continue their species, I've noticed that most youkai have few offspring usually one or two, ningens, however, can have many more than that. The problem with that is the drastic increase in population, if we succeed in our quest for immortality."

"Nature seeks to be balanced and to remain at equilibrium, if the balance is shifted nature will act immediately to reach equilibrium once again, global warming the melting of the glaciers, however, if ningens upset the balance then nature will take decisive action to restore balance."

"And destroy ningens."

"A rather dangerous situation, not because ningens are striving for immortality but because they cannot control their population."

"We're bringing about our own destruction."

"It certainly appears that way."

"I guess ningens can now say that are closest relatives are not primates but youkai, ne?" she asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He nodded, if Rin knew that Inuyasha sired a child then his father also knew and that meant that he wold be expected to sire an heir as well, and the fact that ningens and humans were not so different after all-while not a recent revelation- never struck him as fiercely as id did then.

_I see  
You've turned your back on love again  
And I feel  
Your stumbling down that road again _

And I feel  
Despair kissing our lips again  
And I feel  
Despair holding our hearts again, yeah

H.I.M (**H**is **I**nfernal **M**ajesty) - _Again_


	11. A Brief Interlude II

Chapter Nine is still in the works, I outlined a brief chapter and then trashed it completely because it wasn't going where I wanted it to. So in other words I'm still trying to beat some sense into chapter nine. I already finished the new outline, I just have to flesh everything out. Unfortunately, classes have started once again. Science Research is a must for my AP Chem class, add AP English, AP Psychology and my only non AP class, PreCalculus and I have a pretty busy schedule not including extracurricular activies. Block Scheduling stinks, people, only four classes a day, 90 minutes per class, but you lose a couple of weeks of class. I have sixteen weeks to complete a college level course because AP exams start May 10. And my chem teachers says we shouldn't cram, but he insits we waste two months on science research-which noone wants to do. Time is going to be a luxary. But i promise to work on this as often as I can...even if i have to write everything on paper and type it up at a later date.

_Mate _'māt _n. 1: companion 2: subordinate officer of a ship 3: one of a pair vb. mat•ed; mat•ing 1: fit together 2: come together as a pair 3: copulate  
_Webster's American English Dictionary

A Brief Interlude II

Kagome stared at her husbands backside, it was still early in the evening, but Inuyasha decided to go to bed because it was the night of the new moon, and he'd assumed his ningen appearance. She reached out and touched a strand of black hair, knowing that in the morning it would be the familiar silvery white, "Inuyasha, you awake?"

"What do you want, Kagome?" he asked not turning around.

"Sesshoumaru really cares for Rin doesn't he, I mean he took time off from work just to be with her while she was sick. It was really sweet of him." The strand of hair that she was playing with suddenly slid from her fingers as Inuyasha turned to stare at her, a scowl on his face.

"More like he was trying to ease his guilty conscience. He still can't forget that he used Rin as a means to an end and so he constantly does things to appease his guilt. Like getting her all those gifts, all Rin has to do is look at something for more than two seconds and he'll buy it for her. Not because he loves her, he's never done anything out of love, but because he still feels like he's using her like he's taken away some of her happiness and condemned her to live a life that is no longer hers." Inuyasha didn't bother to mask his irritation at his brother, each word laced with contempt.

"But he must care for her to some extent, he cares about her happiness and wellbeing enough to feel guilty about it. Maybe given enough time the feelings can evolve into love, you can never be sure."

"This isn't some fairytale romance, Kagome, where the hero realizes his love for the heroine after she does some selfless act of kindness. Sesshoumaru's not going to wake up one day and realize his undying love for Rin. There are no heroes or heroines in this story; real life isn't a fairy tale. It's never going to happen, it's not in his nature and even if Sesshoumaru were to grow to love Rin he'd never allow himself to acknowledge the feeling. I know it's hard for you to understand but your just going to have to learn to accept the fact that Rin will probably never receive anything more from Sesshoumaru than she already has."

"But-"

"No Kagome, you don't understand Sesshoumaru, all he cares about is his pride, his honor, and his status in Dad's company nothing else. He married Rin because no other option presented itself, if there'd been a youkai who'd actually lived up to his standards Rin wouldn't be in the position she's in now. What do you think will happen after she dies, he's completed the only task given to him: find a mate. He'll chose another mate, a youkai this time, but he'll be able to search for a suitable one at his leisure. Rin's his wife not his mate, he married but I doubt that any children will ever result from that loveless marriage. He doesn't want any filthy hanyou to call him Chichiue, or to be associated with another hanyou," Inuyasha muttered almost bitterly.

"How could he do that to Rin? I can't accept that Inuyasha, I mean he can't be that heartless." Kagome refused to give hope.

"Kagome, youkai don't usually mate for the same reasons that ningens do, they do it to secure an alliance or to produce offspring so the species doesn't die out-rarely do youkai mate out of love. Sesshoumaru and Rin have been married for years but Rin's never gotten pregnant has she? I doubt it has anything to do with Sesshoumaru's virility and it can't be because Rin's a ningen, I'm proof that ningens and youkai can reproduce. In this aspect Sesshoumaru's failed, he's failed one of his duties in taking a mate-he hasn't sired any pups to carry on the family and species, hanyou or not."

"So Rin can never have a family, I know she wants one seeing how her own died when she was still young."

"No, she won't, not with Sesshoumaru at least. And she can't betray him, she's too loyal to him and even if she did everyone would know right away that it wasn't Sesshoumaru's pup. No youkai who values his life will ever approach the mate of the feared Sesshoumaru. And of course taking a human lover is out of the question. She'll never have any pups or children of her own Kagome."

"So she's just an ornament for him, something to put on a shelf while he does what he wants?" she asked in disbelief.

"Not really, Sesshoumaru will at least honor her title as his wife and mate, he'll never be unfaithful to her but that is the most she can ever expect from him. Also this union has benefits for the company."

"Benefits? What do you mean benefits?"

"Many ningens who could be great assets to the company are unsure of becoming associates with Father because they know of Sesshoumaru's apparent loathing of ningens, thus they fear that he may ignore them or destroy their businesses after he takes Father's place. Now that he's taken a human for a mate they feel that they can chance an agreement with the company."

"So it was just a political type marriage?"

" You need to remember that Rin willingly offered herself up to Sesshoumaru, she knew the consequences of helping him with his problem, and she still offered. I doubt she did it out of love. She probably did it because she's too kind-hearted and because Sesshoumaru is one of her closest friends and she didn't want to see him suffer. She knew, Kagome, she knew."

"She's loyal to Sesshoumaru, and would give up her life for him, but I still can't help but feel sorry for her."

"I know Kagome, I feel the same. I can't help but feel a little guilty, to know that you're with child and that Rin will never have the chance to have her own pups to care for."

"What's the difference Inuyasha, why do you say child and not pup like you do for Rin?"

"Think about it Kagome. I'm a hanyou. You're a ningen. Anything I sire will only be a quarter youkai. I can't exactly call it a pup when it'll be mostly human, can I?"

"Oh."

"Now go to sleep. You need the rest."

"Inuyasha?"

"What now?"

"Who took Sesshoumaru's place while he was in Tokyo?"

Inuyasha nearly fell out of the bed at the sudden comment, honestly he did not know how she made those mental jumps. "Jaken, at first he wasn't aware of it but later he found out. Now got to sleep."

"Goodnight Inuyasha."

"Feh," Inuyasha rolled over, his back to her once more. "Goodnight Kagome."

_My song will ride the wind  
Far, far away to your side.  
Someday two skies will become one,  
And I'll be able to return to you._

Sakamoto Maaya and Steve Conte - _Garden of Everything_


	12. Chapter 9

Written over the course of several days between 11PM and 1AM after I got done with homework, giving me about four and half hours of sleep before getting up and getting ready for school (I wake up at 6 AM), if there are any grammatical or spelling errors I apologize beforehand. My computer has died and left me only my laptop to work with and I'm not used to using the keyboard yet. Written while listening to Hawthorne Heights, H.I.M, Armor for Sleep, and 10 Years, Houston Calls, The All-American Rejects, Hamasaki Ayumi, and 3 Doors Down.

_Can't wash it all away  
__Can't wish it all away yeah yeah yeah  
__Can't cry it all away  
__Can't scratch it all away_

Chapter 9

_Change my attempt good intentions..._

"Sesshoumaru, you know very well that I do not appreciate being lied to or taken for a fool," Inutaisho spoke his voice even, flat and emotionless matching the calm frozen expression of his face.

"I am well aware of the fact, Father."

"Are you, Sesshoumaru? Somehow I doubt the veracity of your words; else you would have never lied to me or anyone else in this company."

"I have never lied to you, Father," Sesshoumaru replied in the same quiet, unruffled tone.

"Haven't you Sesshoumaru? Then kindly explain to me how after almost four years of matrimony Rin has yet to conceive, whereas Inuyasha and Kagome have been mated barely three years and Kagome has conceived. Explain this most anomalous situation to me; I would love to hear what you have to say for yourself."

"Father, surely you do not believe that this is my doing," Sesshoumaru replied nonchalantly, waving his hand dismissively. "The idea is preposterous, surely you know me better than that. I know my duties, and I assure you I have done the utmost in fulfilling them."

"Enlighten me then, Sesshoumaru, on how Rin can be _capable_ of producing offspring, I doubt that you are sterile, and yet you have not impregnated her yet. Your sense of smell is far greater than that of Inuyasha's; you are a full blooded youkai. This leaves the predicament without explanation, without a motive. Choose your words wisely Sesshoumaru."

"Please, Father, I am your loyal son and this is a most delicate matter, the continuation of our family depends on it. My words will no doubt be precise; this will leave no room for double meanings or misinterpretation of the facts."

"Continue."

"While I am aware that I have a duty to our family, continuing the bloodline being one of them, I also have an irreplaceable duty to my mate, which is of course, Rin. My duty to my mate takes precedent over all other duties, it is my duty to ensure her happiness, to protect her, and to provide her with a suitable home."

"What do your duties to Rin have to do with the lack of an heir?"

"As you are aware Father, my marriage to Rin is quite similar to a marriage of convenience, no love or infatuation involved on either side. However, Rin doubtlessly came out with the worst part of the bargain, I have stolen from her the opportunity to expand her horizons, so to speak, she will no longer seek employment or work another day of her life. Her decision to marry me coerced her to sacrifice her chances at living the life that she dreamed of, and she agreed to marry me not to help herself but to aid me in my dream in doing so she sacrificed hers. Rin understands her duties as my mate, she understands the importance of an heir and a spare but I felt that it would be unjust to coerce her to do something so intimate without anything more than friendship. I am merely giving her time, it would be impossible for her to view such an act with emotional detachment."

"And by giving her time do you think she'll be able to see it with emotional detachment? Do not be so foolish, Sesshoumaru."

"Of course I do not believe that, I am merely giving her time to become more accustomed to living with me and I do not wish her to live a life with regrets."

"Your logic, Sesshoumaru, is incongruous."

"She saw me as no more than a friend, Father, to take advantage of our relationship anymore than I have might have easily broken any vestiges of trust and sowed the seeds of bitterness, of feeling used. It would have been uncomfortable for her; time has been allotted to her so that she can feel more at ease with the situation and so it will not be so uncomfortable for her."

"You care enough about her to worry abut her happiness, to fear losing her trust, to not coerce her to do something outside of her comfort zone yet you do not love her. Perhaps not love, but not merely friendship either."

"Father," Sesshoumaru looked at him warningly, he did not want to involve himself in another discussion regarding his feeling for Rin. Inutaisho, it appeared, wanted him to admit that he- Sesshoumaru inwardly grimaced in disgust- loved Rin, that he loved a ningen. It was deplorable to know that his own sire, who at one time long ago mated a youkai, felt such regard towards the despicable species and it filled Sesshoumaru with repugnance to know that Inuyasha felt the same and that he felt an inexplicable affection for one, for Rin.

"Fine, I shall relent this once you have beguiled my fancy into allowing you respite, for once. Now, I have a matter of business to discuss with you. Within two weeks, you, Rin, and I daresay Jaken will travel to the United States to oversee the opening of several new branches of our company and to meet with potential clients and future business partners. Several of them are ningens, and I expect you to be gracious, Sesshoumaru, remember that you cannot treat them with contempt as you normally do because your _wife_ will be with you. I do not want my eldest son and heir to appear a hypocrite in a foreign country, is this understood?"

"Perfectly, Father."

"Very well, you are dismissed."

_Crouched over  
__You were not there  
__Living in fear  
__But signs were not really that scarce  
__Obvious tears  
__But I will not  
__Hide you through this  
__I want you to help  
__And please see  
__The bleeding heart perched on my shirt_

Rin, he knew was visiting Kagome and his vile half-brother in Tokyo, and was not set to return for another week and a half, Sesshoumaru knew this left him with a unwanted predicament-to tell Rin that she needed to return home earlier than planned or to make arrangements for clothes to be packed and meet up with her in Tokyo and depart from the Narita Airport. He knew that Jaken was at home awaiting his arrival, Rin insisted on traveling to Tokyo unaccompanied by the small cretin, and Sesshoumaru was unable to blame her for Jaken's mannerism tended to border the annoying. Sesshoumaru tucked a strand of long silver hair behind his ear, he decided that the best course of action was to meet with Rin in Tokyo; he knew that they'd spend a long time in the United States and Rin wanted to spend a lot of time with Kagome and that she'd miss the other woman terribly while they were gone.

"Jaken," he called when he stepped through the threshold of his sanctuary, the only place where the whisperings of youkai, the gossip of ningens, the looks of loathing, and those without his favor never entered, his bedroom.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama, what is it you need," the small youkai simpered as he answered Sesshoumaru's summon.

"I will leave for Tokyo next week, from there Rin and I will travel to the United States and you are to accompany us. Therefore, I want clothing packed in suitcases, I leave Rin's clothing to you Jaken, and if she lacks any type of garment when we arrive in New York City, you will suffer the consequences. Am I understood Jaken?"

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Jaken, I am not to be interrupted, regardless of the circumstances."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Sesshoumaru dismissed his servant and laid down on the bed. He'd lied to his sire, and that the lie slipped so effortlessly from his lips worried him far more than their content, the lies he'd told were half-truths after all, and of little consequence - what he did or did not do with his mate was his business and not even his father was privy to it. Sesshoumaru took in a deep breath, yes, he'd lied, but the mitigating circumstances warranted such lack of honor, divesting himself of his fathers trust in order to protect his own vanity and placing the blame onto the shoulders of the innocent, of the undeserving of such inconsideration, on Rin's shoulders. The shift was subtle, carefully calculated, so seamlessly integrated into the discussion that it went by undetected by his Father, he wove his tangled web of lies well and trapped his father in it, and in weaving the web he also trapped himself and Rin- unraveling one strand meant destroying the entire web, all the lies unearthed and revealed to all. He knew the saying, understood its implications, and understood what was held together by the fragile strands, oh what a tangled web we weave, he was the spider-hopefully he'd remember which strands were safe and which strands were sticky and not entrap himself. If he was indeed the spider, the maker of the tangled web of lies and deceit what then, he wondered, was Rin, was she the graceful butterfly ensnared in the web or was she a clumsy fly entangled in the glistening sticky strands of thin spider silk? Or was she not part of the web at all but the area in which the web was woven, the gentle tree branch that was the unfortunate victim, the guileless object unknowingly chosen to serve a dark purpose- the bloodstained site of merciless execution. He was the executioner.

Sesshoumaru stared up at the pristine white of his ceiling, pure white unmarred by dirt, innocent and naïve, if walls, floors and ceiling could speak would anyone listen to their tales, listen to their recollections of former inhabitants, of the shouts and tears, would anyone even care? Doubtless, he presumed that no one would take the time to hear the quite murmurs, to watch the walls bleed their transparent blood in agony and despair, to empathize with the immobile walls, to hear their sad tales.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, attempting to block out the pure white ceiling, perhaps he should tell Rin to paint a mural on it like the ceiling of the Sistine chapel was painted, anything to rid the room of the innocence that he knew he stole, the sinful act-sin was something taken and not given back. He fingered his sleek cell-phone, tracing the logo with a long slender finger and debated on calling Rin and informing her of the changes in their plans, to wait was to prolong the inevitable to not wait was to interrupt and possibly dismay her, dampening her slowly rising spirits at the prospect of leaving her friends for more than a month, more than a few months. He placed the small apparatus on the nightstand, he'd wait and let her enjoy her vacation and not suffer the unconscious wait of knowing that farewells were soon to be said, he couldn't rob her of any more happiness.

_Die, withdraw  
__Hide in cold sweat  
__Quivering lips  
__Ignore remorse  
__Naming a kid, living wasteland  
__This time you've tried  
__All that you can turning you red_

"Moshi-moshi, Sesshoumaru," Rin's cheerful voice came over the speaker of his cell phone, buoyant almost in its lightheartedness.

"You sound happy, Rin, what has transpired to put you in such high spirits?"

"Ah, well, um, Kagome and I were, umm, it's kind of hard to say, but we were um…" she trailed off and suddenly went on another tangent, "What's this I hear about your Father summoning you to his office once again to discuss "pressing family matters." Is anything wrong, Sesshoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru inwardly sighed in exasperation, he was a fool to believe that tidings of his meeting with his father might remain hidden from her; however, he'd personally dismember the fool who dared tell her without his consent and caused her to worry unnecessarily. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Rin, the matter was over exaggerated."

"That's good, I guess. How have you been, spending all that time with Jaken?"

"Well enough. Rin, how proficient is your English?"

"Good enough, I'm pretty fluent. Why do you want to know about my linguistic skills?"

"I will join you in Tokyo next week and explain the situation to you, consider it a surprise."

"A surprise, huh? I don't know Sesshoumaru; your surprises are a little strange."

Sesshoumaru instantly recognized the humorous undertone of her words and feigned outrage, "I assure you Rin that my surprises are of the highest quality and are unrivaled. Do not insult me thus."

She sniffed derisively at his statement, "Right, need I remind you of the-"

"No you do not, my memory is impeccable."

"Then don't try to prove your misconceptions, Sesshoumaru."

Although he'd never admit it to anyone, especially not to his Father, Sesshoumaru missed the friendly banters that formed part of their daily routine while she was with him, however, he believed that Rin had an inkling of this and he realized that it did not bother him, so long as she was the only one who knew.

"I miss you," he spoke almost to himself in a voice barely above whisper and Rin, on the other end did not hear his declaration.

"Did you say something, Sesshoumaru?" she asked.

"No."

"Oh, well I need to go Kagome asked me to help her with something for the nursery, I'll talk to you later."

"Agreed. I shall see you next week."

"Okay."

_Change my attempt good intentions  
__Should I, could I  
__Here we are with your obsession  
__Should I, could I_

"Inuyasha, close your mouth it is very unattractive for you to attempt to catch flies in public," Sesshoumaru drawled when the door in front of him opened revealing the bewildered countenance of his younger brother.

Inuyasha's mouth snapped shut and he glared at his elder brother, "What the hell are you doing here Sesshoumaru surely you couldn't have come all this way just to see me and Kagome."

"Be not a fool Inuyasha, I have no such leisure time nor would I deign myself to enter your filthy abode, the scent of ningen permeates from the walls and floors."

"Then why are you here?"

"Do you normally answer your own door Inuyasha, have you no underlings to do such menial tasks or do they all turn away in disgust at the prospect of serving a vile hanyou and his miko mate?"

"Answer the question, damn it!"

"I have come to collect, Rin."

"Why?"

"I have no need to explain myself to someone of your station, little brother."

"Why you-"

"Inuyasha, who's at the door?" a soft feminine voice called out effectively cutting off any tirade on the verge of spewing from Inuyasha's mouth, and soon the dark haired form of Kagome was visible over the hanyou's shoulder.

"It's just Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha muttered discontent at the interruption and because Kagome was there he couldn't fight with Sesshoumaru-he'd probably be deprived of ramen and sleeping on the couch if he attempted to.

"Sesshoumaru what a surprise we weren't expecting to see you until next week, or at least that's when Rin said you'd be here."

"Where is Rin?"

"Oh I'm such a bad hostess, come inside Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha, why do you have to be so rude and not invite him in?" Kagome chided her husband annoyed with his lack of manners although she ought to have expected it given the fact that their guest was one of the banes of Inuyasha's existence.

"It's not like it's my fault!" Inuyasha exclaimed trying vainly to defend himself from an impending lecture.

"Sorry about that Sesshoumaru, Rin's upstairs in the nursery painting one of the walls. You should see it, it's really beautiful, and best of all it works for both sexes because it depicts landscape rather than a specific item and the color pallet is incredible," Kagome gushed obviously entranced with what Rin was painting.

"Rin-chan," Kagome cried out upon entering the nursery, "guess who came to visit you?"

Sesshoumaru stepped through the doorway and witnessed what had entranced his brothers mate, on the sidewall the only wall without a window was a large depiction of a lake boarded by woods and with a flock of birds flying in the sky all painted as if they were bathed in the light of the setting sun. The landscape was obviously the focal point in the wall, and on each side of the painting, the wall was painted to resemble fabric-parting curtains to be precise as if the birds she's painted on both sides were drawing a curtain back revealing little by little the ethereal beauty of nature.

"Sesshoumaru what are you doing here? When you called me yesterday you said that you wouldn't be here till next week!" At this Kagome glanced at the two and made a hasty retreat down the stairs and away from the couple.

"I changed my mind."

"Is this the surprise you were talking about?"

"No. The painting is quite good by the way, you have done an excellent job on it."

"Arigatou."

"It looks as though you've already finished it."

"Almost, I just need to finish the shading of the curtains, make it look more like parting fabric with folds and wrinkles."

"Aa."

"Sesshoumaru, why are you here so early anyway?"

"To prove to you that my surprises are not, and I quote, "weird." And to present to you the reason for why I was going to visit you and why I asked you about your English."

"Okay, continue you've piqued my interest."

"I am grateful that my proclamation is worthy of your attention," Sesshoumaru answered a smirk playing on the corner of his lips. "As you are well aware Father for some time has considered opening new branches of our company internationally, more specifically in the west. Father was always quite susceptible to westernization, but that may be due to the fact that our clan once ruled over the Western Lands. Father has already slated several sites on the eastern coast of the United States as potentially beneficial to the company, and he has asked me to travel there and meet with several CEOs and see whether an establishment in the United States would be beneficial. Naturally, you are to accompany on this trip, as is Jaken. We are departing from the Narita airport next week."

"This is a surprise."

"Aa. Pack your bags, we are departing for a hotel tonight. I daresay that Inuyasha will be most displeased f I was to remain here with you both, it is only practical that we remove ourselves from the vicinity."

"Nonsense, Sesshoumaru," Kagome interjected, suddenly appearing at the door, "it wouldn't be right to send you and Rin off to a cramped hotel room for two weeks when Inuyasha and I have plenty of room here. Both of you are staying, I don't care what you have to say against it."

"This Sesshoumaru has no need of your hospitality, miko for we can manage our own lodgings."

"I know that you can but why bother going through the hassle of finding a hotel room, dealing with room service, housekeeping, and noisy neighbors when you can stay in the relative quiet of a house?"

"Miko-"

"Excellent, I knew that you would agree in the end! I'll go tell Inuyasha," Kagome exclaimed leaving the room before calling out over her shoulder, "You'll be sleeping in Rin's room of course, she can show you where it is. And it's Kagome not miko."

Rin looked at Sesshoumaru and gave him a tentative smile, "I guess that means that we're staying?"

"It certainly appears that way, Rin. I shall inform Jaken of the change in plans, have our bags brought in, and tell him to situate himself in the servant's quarters."

"Alright, do you want me to go down with you?"

"There is no need of your presence, I shall return momentarily."

"Ok," she answered lowering her head and turning to look at the wall once more.

Sesshoumaru saw her disheartened look and rethought his reply, "However, I believe that Jaken will be most relieved to see you, to keep him waiting will only increase his anxiety."

She gave a tiny laugh, "And the more anxious he gets the more talkative and annoying his shrill voice becomes."

"Aa."

The two walked down the stairs together, Sesshoumaru dimly noting the auspicious absence of his younger brother, no doubt, he was in another part of the house howling over the fact that Sesshoumaru would be living with them for a week.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, I am ready to depart if you are. Rin where are your bags? Don't tell me you are unprepared, after all the time that Sesshoumaru-sama was inside waiting for you, you still haven't packed anything. Why must you make things so difficult for him?" at Jaken's last statement a rock suddenly collided with is head knocking the small youkai down.

"Jaken, you are not to use that tone in addressing Rin, understand?"

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken whispered, whimpering from the pain in his head. He looked at Rin, "Please accept my humblest apologies, Rin."

"Don't worry about it Jaken, I forgive you."

"Jaken."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"There has been a change in our plans; Rin and I are to remain here for the duration of our stay in Japan. You will carry our bags upstairs and then retire to the servants' quarters."

"Understood, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Come, Rin."

----

Dinner was far from a subdued affair that evening, Inuyasha spent so much time sending looks of pure malevolence at his elder brother that he barely touched his food; Rin and Kagome chatted amiably over the most trivial topics and Sesshoumaru merely observed his surroundings while casually sipping his tea and picking at his rare steak. Inuyasha's marriage to Kagome proved to be a catalyst for several transformations on Inuyasha's part, before Inuyasha shirked at the idea of responsibility now he shouldered the burden without much complaint but the most amazing of these minor alterations was Inuyasha's participation in the family business-he actually began to take on some of the jobs required to keep the company functioning. It surprised Sesshoumaru how his little brother, who was normally quite predictable in his reactions and emotions suddenly became more competent, perhaps the ability was always there and he never noticed it before.

"My dear Inuyasha, if you continue to glare at me like that your face while freeze into a permanent scowl and then when your whelp is born it will become terrified of you."

"At least I'll have a whelp, unlike a certain ba-"

"INUYASHA!" Kagome cried out in outrage, "How dare you say something so cruel, that comment was uncalled for and besides Sesshoumaru does have a point."

"Ka-Kagome," Inuyasha stuttered in disbelief, "You're siding with-with _him_ over me! What the hell?"

"Well you're acting quite-"

"If you will excuse me," Rin's quiet voice called out, "I've finished," and with that, she got up and walked away from the table leaving her dinner for the most part untouched.

"Now look what you've done Inuyasha! You've upset Rin!"

"What did I say to upset her?"

"I am finished as well," Sesshoumaru interjected before the argument escalated and he wouldn't be heard over the shouts. He left the room still able to hear the shouts from within, Inuyasha's feeble attempts to defend himself and Kagome's shouts of anger – "_You know damn well what you said to upset her!"_

Sesshoumaru walked in the direction of the room he shared with Rin and entered noting that the lights were off and Rin was lying in bed, he was unable to see her face, he closed the door behind him and walked over to the dresser taking out his sleeping clothes before walking into the attached bathroom to change. He knew that she was not asleep, but her lack of response the utter silence and sadness that shrouded her normally happy countenance worried him, Inuyasha's comment cut deep. Sesshoumaru tended to his nightly rituals before walking out of the bathroom and heading for the bed, however a soft nock at the door caused him to pause a quick sniff alerted him to the fact that it was Jaken who dared disturbed him.

"What do you want Jaken," Sesshoumaru hissed stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him as not to disturb Rin.

"I am sorry to disturb you, Sesshoumaru-sama, but I heard of what happened during dinner and I, well I…. is Rin okay?" Jaken asked in concern, though he'd never admit it he'd gotten fairly attached to the ningen in the time that he's known her.

"She is resting."

"Oh. Sesshoumaru-sama, what Inuyasha-sama said isn't true is it, I mean Rin will eventua-"

"That is none of your concern, Jaken."

"Forgive my impertinence, Sesshoumaru-sama. I'll just leave you now."

Sesshoumaru didn't acknowledge Jaken's words, for he spoke them to a closed door but Jaken knew his master heard him, and left still concerned about Rin's emotional well-being.

Sesshoumaru slipped into bed beside Rin, noting that she wore her usual attire of a tank top and pajama bottoms and smirked inwardly-she abhorred lingerie claiming that the lace itched in places, the elastic pinched, and the shoulder straps twisted. The only time she wore something remotely to the silky, lacy, frilly lingerie that caused her so much discomfort was when she was ill and the closest to that were silk nightgowns with lace trimmings, why Jaken continued to purchase such clothing for her was no mystery- he believed that Rin needed more _feminine_ attire, this included dresses and night clothing. However, Sesshoumaru believed that he ought to be more afraid that Jaken actually walked into as store and bought the items that he knew Rin's size did not worry him- Jaken was the one who oversaw the cleaning of their clothing- no what worried him was that he continued to purchase such clothing. Perhaps Jaken got a perverse pleasure out of shopping for women's clothing.

Sesshoumaru wrapped one arm around Rin's waist drawing her back flush against his chest before whispering in her ear, "Do not let Inuyasha's ill spoken words dishearten you, Rin."

_Crowned hopeless  
__The article read living wasteland  
__This time you've tried  
__All that you can turning you red  
__But I will not  
__Hide you through this  
__I want you to help_

Sesshoumaru typed away on his Blackberry laptop, the weight on his shoulder not deterring him from looking over the documents his father sent him, the drone of the plane was pushed to the back of his mind, annoying, as it was – almost as irritating as Jaken. Once he finished looking over the current document he looked down at the top of Rin's head, she was fast asleep using his shoulder as a pillow and he debated waking her, she'd wake up with a sore and stiff neck if she remained in that position. Her lips slightly parted, her face completely relaxed and tranquil, Sesshoumaru felt that awakening her from such peaceful slumber was improper, and called out for Jaken and ordered him to give him a blanket and pillow, which he slipped under Rin's head before draping the blanket around her shoulders. Let her sleep, the flight was a long one.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, how much longer do you think the flight will last?" Jaken asked him from the seat behind him.

"Long enough."

_Change my attempt good intentions  
__Should I, could I  
__Here we are with your obsession  
__Should I, could I_

Their apartment in New York was larger than the one Sesshoumaru once owned in Tokyo, and Rin was amazed by its size the utter enormity f it all almost rivaled her shock at how fast people drove, the maximum speed limit in most places in Japan being 50 km per hour.ⁿ

The apartment was already furnished, all that was left was to buy groceries and to unpack, something that Rin decided could be done later, the trip from Tokyo drained her of her energy, leaving Japan was no problem but entering the United States was a nightmare, customs and immigration standing in line to get their passports checked having their bags searched and then the connecting flights themselves. The worst part however, was the noise, the sound of the jet engines the noise of crying children whose parents were flying coach, the hustle and bustle of the airports people shouting out fears of missing their flight, snarls of indignation when their baggage was lost, and the melding of the hundreds of voices at the gates.

Sesshoumaru walked into their bedroom and noted that their bed was a large four-poster with an azure colored canopy and matching heavy drapes designed to block out the sun, allowing more sleep time and intimacy. He looked at the bed and the more he looked the more certain he became that it was his Father's doing, the more the proud inu youkai tried to push Sesshoumaru onto Rin the more he loathed the idea. However, even he felt the stress and fatigue of the trip although he had an inkling that the true reason for his exhaustion lay solely on Jaken, but whatever the reason he did not care for there was a comfortable bed to lie in, which on closer inspection revealed to Sesshoumaru that Rin had already claimed one side of the bed. He quickly moved to join her in slumber; work could wait.

_Heave the silver hollow sliver  
__Piercing through another victim  
__Turn and tremble be judgmental  
__Ignorant to all the symbols  
__Blind the face with beauty paste  
__Eventually you'll one day know _

He was tired, tired of all the faces of the false facades the carefully crafted masks created to mask the viciousness, the malice, the deceit that they harbored deep within their being. The more time he spent in their presence the more deplorable they were, he saw through their false smiles, heard the sarcasm dripping from their every word, recognized each mocking gesture, each overzealous exclamation of assent and noticed its hidden dissent. He wanted it all to end, wanted-needed to escape into the arms of innocence, of truth and of actual affection to the embrace of one who actually smiled genuine smiles and did not plot his downfall, who enjoyed seeing him alive and healthy.

He was glad to see that the day was quickly dwindling down, three more hours soon became one hour turned into half an hour and transformed into three minutes, and even then he felt that time moved far too slowly. Sixty seconds, another fool approached him with more documents to look over, forty-five seconds, he waved several proposals off, politely refused dinner invitations, and ignored the appreciative looks of several females and even some men, five seconds, he shut down his laptop and placed it in its case, the day was over and he felt relieved to be on his way home.

_Change my attempt good intentions  
__Limbs tied, skin tight  
__Self inflicted his perdition_

When Sesshoumaru arrived at their apartment, he saw Rin sitting on the couch, her back against the armrest, knees pulled up to support a sketchbook, pencil in hand moving briskly across the page, not once did she look up at the door nor make any sign of greeting. He dropped his briefcase near the door, took off his shoes placing them next to the suitcase before shrugging out of his jacket and placing it over the back of one of the recliners as he walked towards the couch, he sat down carefully so he would not cause Rin to make a mistake and turned to look at her.

"How was your day?" she asked not looking up from her sketchbook.

"Fine."

"Monosyllable answers are not really answers, Sesshoumaru," she replied, "Was your day fine in that you completed everything you needed to complete or is it fine in that no one angered you, or was it fine in the sense that you made it home alive?"

Amusement filled him and he decided to humor her, at least for the moment, "Fine in the sense that I did not need to remain there after hours, if anything I was able to leave those despicable fiends earlier than usual."

"You know you love working there, admit it. You relish in the fact that they hate you but you have power over them and can bend them to your every will, you love having power and will never relinquish it."

"Am I that transparent?

"You are to me."

"Hopefully only to you."

Suddenly Rin placed her sketchbook on the floor and looked at him questioningly, "Sesshoumaru, what would you do if a small child ever asked you what love was?"

Sesshoumaru stared at her wondering how she managed to wonder off into such strange tangents, "I refuse to-" he stopped suddenly when Rin leaned over, very close to him.

She placed a soft slender finger over his lips, "Shh, just indulge me this once, what would you say if a small child ever asked you what love was."

"Love is an emotion, intangible-" he was stopped once again by Rin's finger on his lips, his brows furrowed as he stared at her questioningly."

"A small child might not understand what intangible means, Sesshoumaru, try again."

"It is when two people mutually agree to stalk each other."ª

Rin stared at him for a few seconds before bursting out into peals of laughter, falling off the couch and rolling on the floor clutching her sides, tears leaking from her eyes, gasping for breath, face crimson. "Honestly, Sesshoumaru, you make jokes at the weirdest times, gotta keep people on their toes I guess, but I want you to be serious. Now answer the question."

"Love is an emotion, and like all emotions it can not be touched, smelled, felt, tasted, or seen. It can be expr-it can be shown through actions and words. Ningens believe that it is powerful and can overcome anything, youkai believe it is a weakness that leads to pain. Love, is a word that must be used carefully because it can hold so many different meanings. The Greeks, a race of great thinkers, believed there were three types of love, love between family and friends, love for a significant other, and love for the whole world. Of the three, love for the whole world is the most difficult to achieve. That is what love is."

_Should I, could I  
__Change my attempt good intentions  
__Should I, could I  
__Should I, could I  
_10 Years – _Wasteland_

ⁿI know that in Okinawa the maximum speed limit is 50 km per hr, I'm not sure about the rest of Japan. Kimi, my cousins wife, actually stops driving for a while every time they return from Okinawa (where she is from) because people here drive on opposite sides of the road and drive _much _faster than in Japan – and traffic is horrible over there.**_  
_**ªA classmate of mine actually said that during our AP Psychology class, when he was asked how a behavioral psychologist might define love.

On a side note, don't read into the Sesshoumaru whispering into Rin's ear thing too much, nothing happened he was just trying to help her feel better. And don't expect to hear much from me until at least the end of science fair, I need to sleep more if I am to conduct my experiment properly and not fail AP Psych, AP English, and Pre-Calc.


	13. Chapter 10

icygirl2, this chapter should answer your question. I probably should have had this chapter looked over but I don't have a beta so, meh.

_(Can't fight it all away)  
(Can't hope it all away)  
Can't scream it all away  
Ooh, it all away  
Ooh, it all away_

Chapter 10

Sesshoumaru's cell phone rang, breaking the silence of his study disturbing him from his perusal of the company's paperwork. Irritated Sesshoumaru glanced at the number before he flipped it open and answered with a curt, "Moshimoshi."

"Hey, Sesshoumaru, it's me, let me talk to Rin."

"No. Call her on her cell phone."

"I did but the call won't go through, c'mon Sesshoumaru, Kagome really wants to talk to her."

"I told you, no, Inuyasha, call her on her cell phone."

"I told you that I tried damn it, but the damn call won't go through."

"Nonsense, I have not heard it ring at all today, therefore it can only be concluded that you are lying."

"Damn it Sesshoumaru, you insufferable bastard I tried, I fucking tried maybe there's something wrong will her cell, but I am not lying about my failed attempts. Check her cell-phone, you feminine asshole."

Sesshoumaru bit back a growl at Inuyasha's words nevertheless he stood and walked out of the study, he knew where Rin kept her cell phone and he decided to check for himself the veracity of Inuyasha's bold accusations. He picked up the silver apparatus and fought back a groan, it was turned off not on silent, but completely off, Inuyasha spoke the truth. He left the room and went in search of Rin, he found her in the bedroom lying on the bed reading a book, not a worthless romance he noticed upon glancing at the title, but a novel that involved romance as a subplot. He walked up to her ignoring the confusion in her eyes before handing him his cell phone, ignoring her question and walked out the room, he needed isolation barely noticing Rin's voice as she spoke to Inuyasha.

He did not want Rin to speak to his brother's mate, the presumptuous miko who did not understand that certain matters did not concern her, her filthy hanyou husband and the whelp in her womb. He felt immense relief at being across the ocean from the idiotic pair; especially now that Rin was no longer in Kagome's immediate presence pregnancy was contagious. He knew the science of conception, knew the science of pregnancy, and knew that pregnant women released hormones that caused other females around them to want to become pregnant as well and so he dragged Rin away from the miko as quickly as he could without drawing too much attention to his true motives. As far as he was concerned, there were absolutely no plans for children and the relationship he held with Rin, for the time being at least.

Seconds ticked by, turning into minutes, that tuned into an hour, and time continued to pass, how much time he didn't notice didn't care, it was all irrelevant, meaningless numbers and measurements that dictated life. He barely registered Rin's scent growing stronger, barely noticed her quite footsteps behind him, and barely registered the cell phone that was gently handed back to him, the call still connected.

"Inuyasha."

"Sesshoumaru, th-thank yu-yu-you for letting Kagome talk to Rin, we both know that you were under no obligation to do so."

Sesshoumaru did not answer, Rin was still within hearing range and he had no desire to let her hear him break into another senseless argument with Inuyasha, of course Inuyasha was always the one at fault, filthy hanyou that he was.

"Listen, we both know that aging is a disease, and that they're working on ways to stop it. They have this experimental procedure out, Kagome was looking into it and we were wondering if Rin-"

"No."

"I understand."

"No you do not; you think you understand which is not the same as actually understanding. Understand?"

"Eh?"

"As I thought."

"Bastard."

"Hanyou."

"Rin's too good for you."

"I know," Sesshoumaru murmured before hanging up on his younger brother, "I know." He stood and left his office once more, walking back to where Rin's cell phone lay, he picked it up turned it on and walked to their bedroom before gently depositing it on their bed, "You shouldn't leave your cell phone turned off, next time I might not be here at home."

She blushed at her absentmindedness before picking up the phone, "Hai, Sesshoumaru, I won't forget next time."

_kowagatte fumi dasezuni iru ippo ga_  
_kasanatte isukara ka nagaku nagai_  
_michi ni natte te okure ni nattarishite_  
_sono uchi ni nani to naku ima no basho mo_  
_warukunai kamo nante omoidashite_  
_nani to ka jibun ni riyuu tsuketarishita _

…

_nani daka subete ga chippoke de_  
_chiisana katamari ni mieta no ha_  
_aoida sora ga amari ni hatenaku_  
_hiro sugita kara datta no kamo shirenai_  
_kimo no tonari ni itakara kamo shirenai_

_atama de ha wakatteru tsumori demo ne_  
_sure chigaudoko ka no dare ka no koto_  
_furikaette nagamete ha urayandari_  
Hamasaki Ayumi – _Fly High_

The sound of water reverberated in his ears, the scent of brackish water assaulted his nose, and Rin was oblivious to all of it except the water bursting into the air and falling against the pond, putting oxygen into the water. Her gaze was on the fish, the multi-colored fish that the restaurant kept in a pond that bordered the restaurant on two sides and visible from all the windows.

Rin turned her gaze to the menu before gasping, "That's horrible."

Sesshoumaru looked at her, "What is?"

She pointed to the restaurant's mascot, a large rock shrimp, "That's a shrimp right, well," she pointed to what was cooking, "those are also shrimp, he's eating his own kind."

Sesshoumaru smirked as he realized the truth of her observation – leave it to an artist to notice such a mundane thing, "Perhaps he is a cannibal."

She laughed, and Sesshoumaru realized that he liked her laugh; he always liked to hear her laughter especially when he caused her to laugh – with the exception of when she laughed at him of course.

"Are you two ready to order?" the waitress asked.

"Yes," Rin answered cheerfully

Sesshoumaru ignored her words, the waitress's reply, his attention on the scene outside the restaurant, on the splashing, on the bright midday sun, Florida the Sunshine State indeed. When the waitress turned to him and asked for his order he answered her mechanically, her presence of little consequence, her ningen body, and mind, her mundane comments did not interest him.

He did not like this city; it was too small, too quiet, and too underdeveloped compared to New York, compared to Tokyo. However, Rin wanted to explore the area around Orlando, wanted to see something aside from large buildings, freeways, expressways, malls, and fences. He knew that their time spent in New York was hectic, between meetings, social functions, purchasing office space, hiring employees, and overseeing the beginnings of the new branch of the company. Another section of the company needed a foundation in Florida; the options left open were Tallahassee, Jacksonville, Orlando, Tampa, and Miami. She did not want to stay in Tallahassee, or Jacksonville or even Tampa for the matter, and he refused to stay in Miami, the Hispanic population there almost made it a requirement to know Spanish as well as English. Which brought them to Orlando, central Florida, Sea World, Disney Land, and Universal Studios, for some reason he felt conned now that he considered the theme park attractions.

Heat, unbearable and stifling blanketed the city, suffocating all who lived there in its warmth, the temperature was meaningless, but the humidity in the air worsened the situation - heavy and moist. Inwardly, Sesshoumaru was grateful for the invention of air-conditioning, the unbearable heat lengthened the days, not a breath of air stirred, and the blinding sun shone mercilessly, oh yes he was grateful for the air-conditioning as well as the building in which he resided having no need to leave the comforts of modern technology. The cold winter of New York seemed a distant memory, the snow a welcomed change but snow was unfeasible in such a tropical climate like Orlando, Florida, never mind the fact that he'd heard stories of snowfall in Jacksonville and reports that snow had fallen in this disguised oven. He turned from his position on the sofa to look at Rin, sitting cross-legged on the floor photographs surrounding her in a sea of color, glossy in the indoor lighting. He stood and walked over to where she was careful not to tread on the multitude of photographs, pausing to glance at several of them noting the smiling faces and humorous poses.

Sesshoumaru picked up one photograph, it was a ningen male ebony hair, almond shaped brown eyes, and a large smile spread across a tanned face and felt the twinge of an unknown emotion. "Who is he?"

Rin stared at the photograph, a bitter half-smile on her lips as the current picture in her hand lay forgotten, "He was a friend, a long time ago." She took the photo out of his hand and stared down at it with a look of utmost melancholy, "He was the type of person who would always listen to anyone's problems regardless of how petty and who never seemed to get angry. He was my best friend.

Several of my other friends saw us together and noticed how close we were, how he'd always give me a hug in greeting and a hug to say good-bye, they kept saying that we'd make a cute couple and," here she winced, "that we'd make pretty babies. I kept telling them that they were insane, that he already had a girlfriend, and that I did not think of him that way. However, all my words fell on deaf ears they kept harping and repeating the same things over and over, I started to think that maybe they were right and then he broke up with his girlfriend. I don't know why I did what I did but well, things happen, we started going out but the "romance" was short-lived, after that, everything was awkward between us and he was no longer my best friend, the friendship was ruined. Looking back, if I could change what happened I would, I don't miss the boyfriend but I mourn for the lost friendship."

Sesshoumaru noticed the sadness, the remorse, and bitterness that exuded from her she missed the ningen and dredging up the memories reopened the soul wounds. He looked at the other picture, the one she held in her hand and hoped that it held happier memories.

"Fond memories?" he asked looking at the picture she held in her hand – two smiling faces one face belonging to Rin the other some unknown ningen female the epitome of friendship, or so it appeared.

"They were, at one point in my life."

"Who is she?"

"She was a friend, a long time ago," she answered with a rueful smile.

"Was?"

"We had a falling out," she answered not giving him any more details.

Sesshoumaru did not ask for more detail, though he felt curiosity he knew that Rin deserved her privacy and he'd already caused her to dredge up an overwhelming amount of regret and sadness as it was, "I see."

She shrugged, "It's not that unusual, Sesshoumaru. It's part of life you make friends lose them and then find yourself becoming friends with people you once disliked find yourself having civil conversations with them having some of the same tastes in music or art or books, sharing the same opinions on life and politics. It's mind-boggling sometimes to see how much a person changes over time how you find out that that person, who you thought you knew so well, was a stranger to you and that you never really knew them at all. You find yourself working so hard, putting forth your best efforts and finding it all for naught and then you wonder if it was really worth it, worth all the stress, the sleeplessness, the hysteria. You cry on your friends shoulder when your efforts were wasted whispering your ponderings to them and become shocked to hear them echo your thoughts and fears and both of you wonder. Whatever happens happens you can't control the course of life, all you can do is make the most of it and not shut down and let yourself collapse, strive to make the most of your situation and life don't live your life with regrets and move forward."

"Life is not always easy," he agreed, "nor is it fair, sometimes the hand we are dealt is a bitter pill but it is all we have to work with. Die with no regrets, no wishing that you had made different decisions in the course of your life no wondering about the what-ifs, life is far too short even for a youkai to waste on menial matters."

"Sometimes I feel that I shan't like to live forever, for me semi-immortality appears to be both a curse and a blessing a nightmare and fantasy the grotesque sweetness of a much hated confection. Nothing in this world is has the possibility of obtaining true immortality, Sesshoumaru, not even you a taiyoukai, do you know why? Because it is unfeasible, everything in the world that possesses life requires oxygen to live you could still die if incarcerated in an airless room, you could still drown, Sesshoumaru. You have a heart Sesshoumaru, it is the organism that pumps blood through your veins, which carries oxygen through your body and removes carbon dioxide from it, if your heart was removed or if it ceased to work, your life would end. However, the most important part of your body, your mind is also the most impossible to repair, an artificial heart can substitute your real one oxygen can be contained, but your mind once it dies you die, the body may live on but that is all it is an empty shell no better than a cadaver.

Immortality, immortality, everyone desires immortality to live in eternity, nevertheless I daresay I would not enjoy watching all I loved fade and crumble, trees I drew and observed be ripped out of the soil for mortar and stone to take its place to see the same mistakes repeated, history is a vicious cycle that repeats and circles the merciless pattern of a much hated math sequence. I loath and despise the idea, I really do. However, sometimes I also wonder if this pursuit of immortality has a moral standing, perchance it has hidden benefits, I cannot say."

"Living for a long time is not a wretched existence, Rin," Sesshoumaru admonished, somewhat surprised that she did not desire immortality as most ningens did, but then again she wasn't most ningens – she was Rin. "There are benefits to possessing a seemingly endless life, it offers a longer frame of time to experience life and learn from it, it offers more time rectify mistakes or to cause the error to become more egregious, leaving little room for regrets."

"Time, that word is wretched, Sesshoumaru and because of its inconsistency I loathe it with every fiber of my being. Time, what is time, Sesshoumaru? Does it really exist or is it merely a figment of the mind created as another meaningless unit of measure or another intangible psychological belief like emotions? Is it real, Sesshoumaru? Moreover, if it is pray tell what the proper definition of it is. Why must everyone both youkai and ningen wait to act, the phrase tomorrow is constant and no one acts unless coerced to.

"Never denounce your own race, little one," Sesshoumaru replied. "These questions you ask have no real answer, the workings of the mind are too complex to be fully explained without a reasonable doubt, and it is all a matter of opinion. You wonder and ask questions, this is good for it demonstrates that humanity has not destroyed your curiosity. It is curiosity that drives you to act; to seek the truth but you will never find the truth because your senses and mine own are limited that we will always overlook something. All that can be done is to wonder, speculate existence, and wonder more. This is why theories and hypothesis exists and why laws are almost impossible to disprove."

"I was not denouncing my race. And don't call me little one, it makes me feel childish and I'm not a child."

"By ningen standards you are a woman nevertheless by youkai standards you are merely a child barely old enough to fully appreciate your surroundings."

"You're not that much older than me, Sesshoumaru," she muttered peevishly and at Sesshoumaru's arched eyebrow she quickly added, "Figuratively speaking of course."

"I am decades older than you Rin, by physical appearance I am not much older than you although I am more experienced and mentally older than you. Even so, this is all, of course, figuratively _speaking_," he said smirking.

She gave him a glare, which only served to amuse him more, Rin's eyes narrowed, "Do I amuse you?"

Sesshoumaru was tempted to answer honestly but decided that honesty in such a situation appeared completely tactless and opted to dissemble the situation, "I find this conversation highly educational and mentally stimulating thus I find pleasure and amusement in it."

"Right, you're lying aren't you?" she asked disdain dripping from her voice.

Inwardly, Sesshoumaru winced and answered resignedly, "Yes."

"I figured as much."

"How were you able to decipher my true thoughts?"

"And give you means to fix your problem? No way, if I did that I'd never be able to discern your moods and thoughts."

"I'm glad that my plight gives you an advantage, I am completely at your mercy now, and when people see me on the street they will assume that I am abused at home. The world will turn against me in their pity."

"You're a cynic you know that."

"So I've been told, quite vigorously and with a number of colorful words attached to that phrase." Her response was so quite Sesshoumaru pretended that he did not hear it.

"Sesshoumaru, you do know that there is a correlation between cynicism and heart disease."

"Correlation does not mean causation and I am a youkai."

"And being a youkai makes you immune to any ill-health?"

"But of course, except for within the lesser youkai species but they are as I said lesser youkai."

"Ostentatious, male," she muttered.

"I am a taiyoukai; it bestows upon me the right and privilege to view myself as far superior to the uncouth youkai."

Rin looked at him in disbelief, "My good sir," she began with the tiniest of smiles, "I am sorry to say that this conversation is rapidly turning into a slippery slope, thus I bid you good day and will extract myself from your presence."

Sesshoumaru feigned a slightly affronted look, "My dear lady, am I to assume that you find me arrogant?"

"Pray tell good sir, what was your first clue?" Rin asked struggling to keep her face in a neutral expression.

"Why, haven't you guessed, of course I realized your intentions when you denounced me as an ostentatious male."

"But of course, how foolish of me to assume that an intellectual creature such as yourself would overlook such a comment."

"My dear lady, it is impossible for me to ignore the words of a remarkable person such as yourself, your every word and every action is engraved into my memory and not even the smallest action passes me unnoticed."

Rin burst into uncontrollable laughter, shoulders shaking tears leaking from her eyes. Wiping the moisture from her eyes Rin looked at Sesshoumaru, a smile spread across her face, "Honestly, Sesshoumaru how can you tolerate speaking such meaningless drivel and manage to keep a straight face?"

"My dear lady, meaningless drivel you say – I am crushed by your bold words, here I am pouring my soul out to you my fragile heart dangling from my sleeve and you ridicule my action, can it be that you my fair lady are a minx?"

"And now you're just being ridiculous, stop the act Sesshoumaru its only funny the first three times – the rule of three remember."

"Appalled by your lack of responses?"

"Sesshoumaru," Rin began her voice held an undercurrent of irritation.

"Very well," Sesshoumaru ceded to her command, while Rin's patience was seemingly infinite, the temper shrouded beneath it was a raging inferno.

"I suppose there is a benefit to immortality," she said in a voice barely above a whisper, "for you at least, Sesshoumaru," she refused to meet his gaze eyes focused on some far nonexistent place, "when I die you can choose a suitable mate to carry on your family's bloodline and not worry about the taint of humanity." She stood suddenly, moving away from the photographs, away from their moment of happiness, away from him.

"No, it is not a benefit, Rin," he murmured knowing that she didn't hear him, but he did not repeat his statement coward that he was when a situation involved emotions and admitting affection of others, better to let her soul bleed from a never healing wound than admit his weakness. He stood, back turned to her, and walked out of the room not pausing to look back, not stopping to reassure her, to offer comfort, not pausing to see the utter look of despair and sadness on her face. however, the scent of tears the sound of heaving breath increased heartbeat did not escape his senses, the quiet cries tore at him, ripped at his moral fiber and still he continued to walk away from her, putting yet another wall between them and a never-ending silence.

_So it brings us back to this  
__Something's got to give  
__So are you listening?  
__Or are you coming around again?_

_All deliberate speed – Lately you've been contemplating  
__Is this real or is this fading? What brought you here in the first place?  
__Well everyone around us screams, "It's got to be and it's got to hit you"  
__Well you and me well we can change the world  
_Mae – _All Deliberate Speed_

Ebony locks twisted around her fingers, a mass of silk, thick and glossy, soft to the touch, she pinned the last strand up checking her reflection in the vanity mirror, ebony hair and a white porcelain face stared back at her, mocking and cold. White slender fingers lifted the lid of her jewelry box pulling out a pair of diamond teardrop earrings, a diamond bracelet, a diamond-studded choker followed soon after as well as a white gold ring before she closed the lid. A black make-up case replaced the space previously occupied by the jewelry box, a tube of red lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, rouge, and eye shadow removed and replaced each action almost mechanical, cold, and emotionless.

Sesshoumaru watched her prepare for Shikomaru's cocktail party, the black dress chosen for the occasion gave her an even further resigned look, he hated to see her dressed in black, and its despondent reputation did not suit her. Ever since their conversation about immortality she appeared distant, the smiles never truly reaching her eyes, her happy disposition muted and smothered by the aura of sadness that enshrouded her, no laughter no easy banter just polite responses as if they were only acquaintances and not friends.

She finally turned around to face him, "How do I look, Sesshoumaru?" she asked her tone resigned, face an expressionless mask, brown eyes filled with hopelessness, a stranger.

He looked at her, at the black dress the painted face, the elegant hairstyle, the expensive jewelry and realized an important fact, "You look like Rin," he answered truthfully because the clothing, hair and accessories were powerless to hide her from the world.

For the first time since that fateful afternoon a glimmer of happiness appeared in her eyes, a small smile tugged at the corner of her painted lips, "Yes, I suppose I do." She walked over to him and began to straighten his tie, smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in his shirt, hands trembling out of nerves, she never liked the social functions they attended, youkai saw very little use in ningens and did nothing to control their tongues on the subject.

Sesshoumaru took her hands in his effectively stopping them, knowing that her exhausted nerves impeded her rationality, he tried to sooth her, "Calm yourself, Rin, no ill-fortune will befall you whilst you are in my presence, this Sesshoumaru gives you his word on that and this Sesshoumaru never forgoes his word, you of all people know this."

"I know, it's just that this is the first time that I will attend a social gathering and be the only ningen in attendance, Shikomaru-sama loathes ningens and we all know what he thinks of our marriage."

"What Shikomaru thinks is of little concern to me, I still outrank him in power and social status, and he'd be a fool to attempt anything."

She sighed, nodded her head, and looked up at him, "I suppose your right, and I just can't help but worry though because I feel that I will be out of my league."

"You are my mate, thus you are above all of them, and they will defer to you."

She didn't answer but moved to pick up her small handbag from the bed, she opened it, checked the contents before closing it once more. She walked up to him, placed her hand in his, and gave him a nervous smile, "Let's go."

The closer to the formal reception room they got the more Rin's small hand trembled in his; he tightened his hold on her fingers, leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, "Relax." Letting go of her hand, it appeared far too intimate for his liking, he slipped his arm through hers, a more formal approach that served a second purpose, she could hold onto him with both arms and not appear weak while remaining in his protective hold.

Sesshoumaru nodded in greeting at several youkai that he knew by name and reputation, some he'd seen at previous events while others were complete strangers to him. Female youkai dressed formally in clothing of various colors, eyed him with feral smile while giving Rin looks of utmost contempt and abhorrence. The male youkai nodded in acknowledgement of his presence, several giving him a customary bow and murmured his name while casting contemplative looks at Rin, calculating and malicious. Sesshoumaru spied Shikomaru's burgundy colored hair and walked towards him, noting the wineglass the other youkai held in his hand.

"Ah, Sssessssshoumaru," Shikomaru called out in his sibilant voice upon seeing him, "ssso glad you were able to attend my humble gathering, and I sssee you brought your young ningen mate with you, how, quaint." He turned to Rin giving her a toothy grin, displaying his fangs, "Rin-chan, why don't you be a dear and let me ssspeak with Sssessssshoumaru for a moment, run along now."

Sesshoumaru growled softly, "Shikomaru, do not address my mate so familiarly and never speak to her in that tone. She is no child, nor is she a simpleton."

"My apologiesss, Sssessssshoumaru, I meant no insssult."

"It's alright, Sesshoumaru," Rin whispered detaching herself from him, "Excuse me," she whispered bowing to Shikomaru.

Sesshoumaru stared at his mates retreating figure, assuring himself that no youkai would attempt to attack her.

"I never knew you to be ssso possssessssive of a sssimple ningen, Sssessssshoumaru, normally you ssscorn them asss much asss I. hasss your little mate changed you sooo much?"

"I have no reason to explain my actions to you."

Shikomaru smirked, "It ssseemsss that I have ssstruck a nerve. You appear to be very protective of her. Sssurprisssing, consssidering the fact that ssshe hasss not given you an heir, perhapssss you only chossse her to appeassse your Father. That or ssshe isss worthlessss in-"

"Do not cross that line, Shikomaru."

"Afraid to acknowledge that my wordsss are true, Sssessssshoumaru?"

"This Sesshoumaru fears nothing, Shikomaru."

"Then why do you ssspeak ssso little of your relationssship with your ningen?"

"It is none of your concern."

"That or you are hiding sssomething, Sssessssshoumaru, we have all heard the rumorsss."

"Rumors are just that, rumors."

"That may be but they alwaysss have sssome truth to them. Your honored Father isss angry at you becaussse of the lack of an heir. Doesss ssshe repulssse you ssso much that you can not-"

Sesshoumaru growled at Shikomaru before lunging at him knocking the reptilian youkai to the ground, Sesshoumaru's claws poised above him glowing a deadly green, "I warned you not to cross that line Shikomaru." Acid seeped from his claws dripping onto the floor, he ignored the startled gasps of the other youkai, bloodlust in his veins anger at Shikomaru for daring to insult his mate, "Die."

Suddenly a scent was there, the sweet smell of perfume and a familiar voice crying out, "Dame! Sesshoumaru," and then she was there pleading with him to not kill Shikomaru to not deign himself to that level, to just leave. He stood slowly, eyes frigid, he grasped Rin by the arm leading her away from the fallen youkai, she didn't need to see an execution.

"Running away like a whipped puppy, Sssessssshoumaru? Jussst becaussse your ningen begged you to? Your ningen that can't even provide you with an heir."

Sesshoumaru turned back to look at Shikomaru, snarling, eyes red and enraged. Shikomaru stared at him, eyes widened slightly in fear. "Watch your back Shikomaru, when you least expect it I will be there to call in this debt."

The apartment was quite when they arrived, the silence that remained through the drive home carried inside not chased away by the soft light of the apartment. Rin walked away from him, heading to their bedroom.

"Jaken."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Help Rin prepare for bed, draw her bath and lay out her clothing."

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama."

He walked into his study, shutting the door behind him, sitting in the darkness, contemplating remembering and finding that he held no regrets. The apartment was silent; save for the sound of running water Jaken was drawing Rin's bath and the tick tock of the clock. Drawers opening and closing, shifting cloth, the sound of their comforter and blankets being moved soothed him, calming his ire, he saw through the haze, was able to think rationally. The seconds ticked by, water draining, a door opening, soft footsteps, silent movements, rustling cloth, he stood an walked slowly out of the room. he saw her sitting on the bed, dressed in one of Jaken's choices, a crimson nightgown. Slowly he sat down on the opposite side of her, back resting against the footboard, legs stretched out in front of him.

"Why?" she asked looking at him with her large, clear brown eyes.

He didn't answer.

"Why did you attack Shikomaru-sama, Sesshoumaru?"

The silence grew thicker, denser, suffocating.

"Answer me Sesshoumaru, why were you so adamant about trying to kill him?"

He looked at her, barely suppressed rage at the memories visible in his amber eyes, "He insulted you."

She looked at him incredulously, "It's not the first time a youkai insulted me because of my humanity nor will it be the last. What difference did it make this time?"

He snarled, "He insulted you in my presence, to my face, debasing you without mercy. You are my mate," he grabbed her by the shoulders, "you are mine and no one insults what is mine. Mine. My mate, my ningen, my possession and he insulted you. Insulted what is mine, insulted me and for that he needed to be punished."

"He spoke the truth Sesshoumaru; I haven't given you an heir."

He suddenly let go of her, turning his head away, "It is no fault of yours. The problem is mine, mine to carry, mine to remember, only mine. I created the problem."

"Let me-"

"No," he answered, "no."

She slowly moved her hand up, moving to remove the jacket he wore he caught her smaller hand in his and slowly shook his head, no. "I'm your wife, Sesshoumaru," she cried crystalline tears spilling from her eyes making wet glistening paths down her face, "please let me help you, let me share the burden with you. I'm your wife; it's my duty to help you carry the burden, to be there for you, to aid you in a time of need." She buried her head into his shirt, hand fisting, wrinkling the material, "Onegai, Sesshoumaru," she whispered sobs wracking her body. Her shoulders shook, her breath came in shallow gasps, the front of his shirt was damp, and her piteous sobs filled his ears.

Sesshoumaru wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer to him, he didn't speak, didn't deny or acknowledge her words, he just held her, held her until finally exhausted she fell asleep in his arms.

He gazed at her sleeping form cradled in his arms, the tears that spilled from her eyes dried leaving tracks on her porcelain face, her ebony hair unbound and spilling over her shoulders, the crimson nightgown's strap slipping down her arm, he slid it back up. He fingered several strands of her ebony locks, what separated ningens from youkai that possessed human forms, what truly was the difference between them aside from longevity and the rate that their bodies healed. Ebony hair, not all youkai possessed hair colors that differed from the stereotypical ningen; Kouga's hair for example was also ebony, just like Rin's silky locks. He traced her slender fingers, no claws, just simple ningen nails but not all youkai possessed claws, Shippou had no claws, Kouga and Ayame had no claws, it was not unusual. He traced the shell of her ear, rounded not pointed youkai ears, the physical difference was the shape of their ears but that was of little matter. He looked at her tranquil face, lips parted slightly, no fangs youkai whispered – ningens had no fangs but they did have fangs small fangs, tiny compared to those of a youkai but they were fangs. The only physical difference he realized were the ears, facial markings were irrelevant considering that only a few youkai actually possessed them. He did not enjoy examining her this closely when she was awake, awake to perceive his scrutiny to question it, questions that he was unable to answer, incapable of answering and unwilling to ponder.

"Are we really that different, " he whispered in her ear knowing that she wouldn't awaken, knowing that his words didn't register, weren't processed and encoded in her brain, "or is it all purely a mental set, an irreversible schema?"

Rin shifted in his arms, shivering slightly, burrowing deeper into his embrace, seeking warmth, the nightgown providing very little of it. He felt tempted to remain in the position that they were in, him sitting up her curled up in his arms, and just placing a blanket over her but knew better than to compromise her body – unaccustomed as she was to sleeping in that position.

He wondered, after hearing her tearful confession the heartfelt declaration, wondered about his feelings for her the possessive attachment, the tolerance, affection, the tranquility that surrounded him around her, the buoyancy of his emotions, and his unexplainable need to protect her. He cared for her, cared deeply about her, but the emotions that assaulted him were foreign, unheard of, and difficult for him to decipher. He adored her, cherished her, honored her, but to what extent he wondered how much affection did she garner from him, his affectation with her an ever-changing ambiguity. He kissed her forehead, a tender action that she'd never received from him, a blatant display of affection that no one before her received and no one was there to witness, she'd never know, and he'd never tell her. Gently he shifted her until he was able to stand with her in his arms, he was instantly glad that Jaken was sensible enough to draw the blanket and comforter back, and eased Rin back onto the bed, pulling the blankets around her. He brushed a few stray strands of ebony hair away from her face, she deserved better, and she deserved to be loved, to be happy.

_Forgive my hesitation- oh, but I'm learning to trust in you  
Help me to dream these dreams because I don't have a clue _

If you'd be honest and say what you mean  
you know I would promise I'd do anything  
because I know that without you I'm giving it away

Is this what you wanted  
Cause I'm willing to change  
Now that I'm certain,  
that there's much more to gain  
You've introduced me to the moment  
but I'm looking to stay for good  
You've asked me to stay forever  
Well, you know that I would, I would do anything

Mae – _Giving it Away_

Morning came swiftly, Sesshoumaru knew it was morning despite the darkness of the room, the curtains blocking out the sun's light. Memories of the night before came to him, Rin's words and action remained engraved in his thoughts. The youkai concept of mating differed from that of the ningens. Youkai did not mate for enjoyment; they mated out of duty, out of the primal need to continue the species, the instinct to continue the bloodline. Enjoyment of the act of copulation was rare, the instincts and reasons for the act driving out all other thoughts, not to mention the fact that many "marriages" between youkai was to incorporate better genes, to have stronger offspring, affection was of little consequence. However, Rin was a ningen; she had different opinions of the mating process and expected different things than what he expected.

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru called out leaving the dark confines of the bedroom where Rin still lay sleeping.

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama, what can I do for you?"

"Prepare a breakfast tray for Rin, fruits and a glass of juice – preferably oranges; leave it on the kitchen counter I will take it to Rin. Also, you are to leave and not return until I send for you, do not disobey me Jaken."

Jaken stared at Sesshoumaru, dumbfounded at his masters strange behavior but knew better than to question him, whatever the reason it was because of the night before, "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama, I will do as you ask."

Sesshoumaru did not return to the bedroom, did not return to his study but picked up his cell phone and made several calls from the balcony, Jaken unable to hear his master's words worried even more. He left the tray on the counter as he was instructed and left the apartment, staring at his master's back and worried even more.

Sesshoumaru stared at the tray and removed everything from it except the oranges. Sesshoumaru returned to their bedroom, he noticed the bed was empty, the bathroom door closed and he heard the faucet running, he gently set the tray of oranges on the bedside table. The door opened and Rin stepped out, hair brushed, face washed, and teeth brushed, she paused at the sight of him. He nodded to the oranges and she walked towards the bed. She selected a slice and ate it, not looking at him. The scent of citrus was overwhelming, wafting from the orange, from her fingers and from her face were the juice dripped onto them. She selected another slice. When she finished she looked down at her hands and wrinkled her nose, standing she walked towards the bathroom and rinse her hands off removing the sticky juice but not the strong scent of citrus. She sat on the bed once more, and looked at him with her large brown eyes, the strap of her nightgown sliding off her shoulder. Sesshoumaru didn't think, he just acted, acted on what he thought was right.

He kissed her. She tasted of oranges, of the piquant saccharine taste of the navel orange – or perhaps it was just because she smelled of oranges, after all smell governed taste, whatever the reason he still tasted oranges on her. Whatever the reason, whether the taste of oranges came from the juice of the orange or from the scent of citrus, she tasted exotic, completely foreign – he'd never kissed a ningen before.

He drew back slowly, millimeter by millimeter, his amber eyes lingering on hers gauging their reaction and was pleased by what they saw, wide eyes, the pupils enlarged turning her eyes a deep rich chocolate, almost black in color. His eyes swept downward to her soft lips, parted – forming a small "o" slightly swollen and redder than usual from the pressure of his lips. The vein in the slender arch of her pale throat pulsed and throbbed rapidly, the rhythmic thudding of her heartbeat faster than normal resonated in his sensitive ears. He smirked, pleased by her reaction to him, the inner youkai howling triumphantly at his gradual claiming of his mate, of what belonged to him, only him and what was only for him to see. He leaned in once more.

"Sumimasen, Rin," he whispered before his warm lips descended onto hers, her lips were warm and soft, he moved his left hand to the back of her head gently pulling her closer to him.

A low growl of approval escaped him when he felt her respond, her arms tentatively moving up his arms – a phantom's touch – before coming to rest around his neck her soft cool fingers tangling in his silvery-white locks. He moved to kiss the corners of her mouth, her cheeks, her small delicate nose, her cheeks, closed eyelids, her smooth brow, before moving to nibble on her earlobe – smirking at her gasp of surprise. Her skin was cool beneath his lips, too cold for his liking but that was soon to be the least of both of their worries. He kissed down the side of her face nibbling on her jaw before kissing the slender arch of her milk-white neck, he tilted her head back to grant him better access reveling in the in the rapid increase of her heartbeat. Gently, so very gently Sesshoumaru pushed her back against the bed, her luxurious ebony hair spread around her, her porcelain face flushed pink eyes wide and dark, lips swollen and red. He leaned over her, careful not to place too much of his weight on her fragile ningen body, as his hair spread over them – a delicate silver curtain blocking their faces from view. His lips covered hers once more as his hands slid up her arms before shredding the delicate material of the crimson nightgown, taking care not to scratch her delicate skin.

_From lashes to ashes  
__And from lust to dust  
__In your sweetest torment  
__I'm lost  
__And no heaven can help us  
__Ready willing and able  
__To lose it all  
__For a kiss so fatal  
__And so worn_

_It's heartache every moment  
__From the start to the end  
__It's heartache every moment  
__With you  
__And deeper into heavenly suffering  
__Our fragile souls are falling  
__Its heartache every moment  
__Baby with you  
_HIM – _Heartache Every Moment_

Sesshoumaru stared at his left hand, the fingers interlaced with the fingers of Rin's right hand, before staring at Rin's sleeping figure, her soft warm body leaning on his larger frame her head and torso pillowed on his chest and his right hand lay on the crown of her head. He smiled at her peaceful expression, knowing that no one was there to witness it, that she'd never know or see the smile meant for her and only her. His inner youkai slept within him, dormant know that his most basic and primal needs were abated, a sense of egotistical pride exuded from him – he'd marked his mate, demonstrated his dominance and ownership of her and she did not refuse him. It pleased him, pleased him on countless levels to know that she desired him – the inu youkai named Sesshoumaru. Not his money, not his status, not his father's company, not his looks and not for his youkai blood but his personality his likes and dislikes, his opinions and desires, for who he was not what he was and would always be. For this he would always be eternally grateful and for her he would sacrifice some of his ill-placed pride, his unfounded misconceptions, and his beliefs in order to make her happy and to give her a family, one that she'd always dreamed of: an understanding if not caring husband and children (pups) to call her own. This he could do for her and he would do for her.

He looked at her pale shoulder and winced inwardly, he'd bitten it earlier, not a deep puncture wound but it still looked sensitive and the faint scent of blood assaulted his nose. He felt the innate desire to lick the wound, the primitive inu side of his instincts coming into play, he knew his saliva held healing properties for _him_, he was unsure if it would work for a ningen. Still the urge to cleanse the wound, to lick it and heal it remained strong, reason losing to instinct and he found himself gently licking her shoulder, licking the wound he inflicted, tasting the acrid blood that emanated from it. Soon he felt that it was reasonably clean and that it would heal, but her sleeping position was uncomfortable for her, she'd awaken with a stiff neck if he didn't move her. Carefully, meticulously and oh so gently he untangled their fingers and turned them both until they laid on their sides, her back flush against his chest and his arms wrapped around her, her head nestled under his chin.

Pups, he thought as the edges of sleep brushed against his mind, hanyou pups, he subconsciously pulled Rin closer to him arms tightening around her; he needed to have a conversation with Inuyasha, soon.

Jaken walked down the streets of Orlando before looking up at the sky, at the radiant moon and suddenly stopped makinga quick mental calculation.

"It's nowhere near Rin's moontime!" he cried.


End file.
